Tag Archives: weird

Long Worm’s Short Life

Posted on November 4, 2016 by twitmericks

Top annelid experts confirm/ That Dave the Widnesian worm/ Achieved record size./ By way of a prize/ They shortened poor Dave’s earthly term./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-37861928 Top annelid experts confirmThat Dave the Widnesian wormAchieved record size.By way of a prizeThey shortened poor … Continue reading →

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Pilot Taken in Hand

Posted on November 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A pilot who flew in the nude/ Was grounded for actions most lewd/ He came in to land/ With joystick in hand/ To find his career was now screwed./// Graphic images ‘show British Airways pilot performing sex act on himself … Continue reading →

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Pub Rub-a-Dub

Posted on October 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A coke-addled fellow in Lancs/ Engaging in marathon wanks/ Was held by police/ For breach of the peace/ As pubs aren’t the place for such pranks./// http://m.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/13778453.Blackburn_man_caught_pleasuring_himself_for_40_minutes_in_pub_beer_garden_after_snorting_five_lines_of_cocaine/?ref=mr&lp=2 A coke-addled fellow in LancsEngaging in marathon wanksWas held by policeFor breach of … Continue reading →

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Once Bitten, Twice Bitten

Posted on September 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A very unfortunate man/ Got spider-bites twice on the can/ Both times on his cock/ Which though quite a shock/ Was clearly no flash in the pan./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251 A very unfortunate manGot spider-bites twice on the canBoth times on his … Continue reading →

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Bum Rap

Posted on September 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A new law in Melbourne, Australia/ Bans mooning and bare genitalia/ Forbidding the streak/ And flash of bum-cheek/ Or similar paraphernalia./// http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/courts-law/mooning-ban-you-could-have-people-doing-it-everyday-with-no-sanction-victoria-attorney-general-says/news-story/51f364aa16962e9225e1e1b93bc0fa49 A new law in Melbourne, AustraliaBans mooning and bare genitaliaForbidding the streakAnd flash of bum-cheekOr similar paraphernalia. — … Continue reading →

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Love Rats

Posted on September 23, 2016 by twitmericks

A chap won an Ig Nobel Prize/ For pants of a very small size/ He put on male rats/ To show using stats/ How fabrics harm sex life in guys./// https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/22/ig-nobel-prizes-trousers-for-rats-and A chap won an #IgNobel PrizeFor pants of a very small … Continue reading →

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Take a Hike

Posted on September 22, 2016 by twitmericks

A hitch-hiker got a bit miffed/ When noone would give him a lift/ The NZ police/ For breaching the peace/ Have given the Frenchman short shrift.///  http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11714999 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/778911879431413760

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In Deep Doo-doo

Posted on August 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A man who climbed into a loo/ Found this was a dumb thing to do/ He got himself trapped/ Where many had crapped/ Thigh-deep in a cauldron of poo./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/norwegian-man-rescued-trapped-inside-toilet-cato-berntsen-larsen-a7212841.html A man who climbed into a looFound this was a … Continue reading →

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Squiffy Squirrel

Posted on July 18, 2015 by twitmericks

A squirrel got utterly smashed/ On ale from a boozer it crashed/ The rat-arsed intruder/ Got steadily ruder/ And left the establishment trashed./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/drunk-squirrel-causes-hundreds-of-pounds-worth-of-damage-at-private-members-club-10394099.html A squirrel got utterly smashedOn ale from a boozer it crashedThe rat-arsed intruderGot steadily ruderAnd left … Continue reading →

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Rabbit Habit

Posted on July 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A motorist lost concentration/ And crashed due to preoccupation/ While using a toy/ She liked to employ/ For sexual gratification./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sex-drive-female-motorist-ploughs-6056180 A motorist lost concentrationAnd crashed due to preoccupationWhile using a toyShe liked to employFor sexual gratification. — Mick Twister … Continue reading →

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