Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

William’s Chillums

Will Shakespeare wrote brilliant plays,/ The coiner of many a phrase/ Now pipes in his yard/ Suggest the old bard/ Did this in a weed-scented haze./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/william-shakespeare/11792533/Cannabis-discovered-in-tobacco-pipes-found-in-William-Shakespeares-garden.html Will Shakespeare wrote brilliant playsThe coiner of many a phraseNow pipes in his … Continue reading

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Trump’s Lead Bleeds Away

Republican wannabe Trump/ Finds backers are taking the hump/ Because the old bleeder/ Who wants to be leader/ Persistently speaks from his rump./// http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/aug/08/donald-trump-roger-stone-megyn-kelly Republican wannabe TrumpFinds backers are taking the humpBecause the old bleederWho wants to be leaderPersistently speaks … Continue reading

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Minder Reminder

Farewell to the actor George Cole/ For whom the bell now has to toll/ The man played a blinder/ As Arthur in Minder/ A quite unforgettable role./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/george-cole-dead-an-appreciation-of-the-minder-star-who-was-king-of-the-tv-spivs-10444206.html Farewell to the actor George ColeFor whom the bell now has to … Continue reading

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Hitch Glitch

A robot that set out to hitch/ Encountered a sonofabitch/ Who cut off its head/ And left it for dead,/ A serious technical glitch./// http://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/hitchbot-robot-beheaded-philadelphia-feat/index.html A robot that set out to hitchEncountered a sonofabitchWho cut off its headAnd left it … Continue reading

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Hard Cell

A trader and schemer and briber/ Convicted of rigging the Libor/ Has plenty of time/ To ponder his crime/ While sat in a cell on his Khyber*./// http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/aug/03/former-city-trader-tom-hayes-convicted-of-libor-rigging A trader and schemer and briberConvicted of rigging the LiborHas plenty of … Continue reading

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Breast Stroke

Hongkongers wore bras to protest/ At Lai-ying’s unlikely arrest/ She’s now doing time/ In jail for the crime/ Of hitting a cop with her breast./// http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/08/hong-kong-breast-walk-protest-court-ruling-150802110617144.html Hongkongers wore bras to protestAt Lai-ying's unlikely arrestShe's now doing timeIn jail for the … Continue reading

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Minnesota Nasty

A dentist who hunted big game/ Sought trophies to garner him fame/ But public distress’ll/ Ensure killing Cecil/ Brings Walter unlimited shame./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/29/cecil-the-lion-calls-for-prosecution-us-dentist-walter-palmer A dentist who hunted big gameSought trophies to garner him fameBut public distress'llEnsure killing CecilBrings Walter unlimited … Continue reading

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Lord of Misrule

An old orange bra-wearing Lord/ Had fun as he snorted and whored/ But public life’s cruel/ And so Baron Sewel/ Must publicly fall on his sword./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33685519 An old orange bra-wearing LordHad fun as he snorted and whoredBut public life's … Continue reading

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Lord Sewel Follows Party Line

A peer judging conduct has quit,/ Apparently no longer fit,/ As tabloid reports/ Showed film where he snorts/ Some coke off a prostitute’s tit./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33667676 A peer judging conduct has quit,Apparently no longer fit,As tabloid reportsShowed film where he snortsSome … Continue reading

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Another Planet

A planet that NASA can see/ That’s called Kepler 452b/ Is quite like the Earth/ Though larger in girth/ And may be the home of ET./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-33641648 A planet that NASA can seeThat's called Kepler 452bIs quite like the EarthThough … Continue reading

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