Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Our Man in Havana

Posted on July 21, 2015 by twitmericks

Today, after decades, two nations/ Restored diplomatic relations/ So as of mañana/ DC and Havana/ Can rebuild intelligence stations./// http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/19/politics/cuba-u-s-embassies-opening/ Today, after decades, two nationsRestored diplomatic relationsSo as of mañanaDC and HavanaCan rebuild intelligence stations. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) July … Continue reading →

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Her Royal Heilness

Posted on July 19, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a princess so cute,/ Well-mannered, of spotless repute./ But now we see pix/ Of Lizzie aged six,/ Performing a Nazi salute./// http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/royals/6548665/Their-Royal-Heilnesses.html There once was a princess so cute,Well-mannered, of spotless repute.But now we see pixOf Lizzie … Continue reading →

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Squiffy Squirrel

Posted on July 18, 2015 by twitmericks

A squirrel got utterly smashed/ On ale from a boozer it crashed/ The rat-arsed intruder/ Got steadily ruder/ And left the establishment trashed./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/drunk-squirrel-causes-hundreds-of-pounds-worth-of-damage-at-private-members-club-10394099.html A squirrel got utterly smashedOn ale from a boozer it crashedThe rat-arsed intruderGot steadily ruderAnd left … Continue reading →

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Rabbit Habit

Posted on July 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A motorist lost concentration/ And crashed due to preoccupation/ While using a toy/ She liked to employ/ For sexual gratification./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sex-drive-female-motorist-ploughs-6056180 A motorist lost concentrationAnd crashed due to preoccupationWhile using a toyShe liked to employFor sexual gratification. — Mick Twister … Continue reading →

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Nuclear Reaction

Posted on July 14, 2015 by twitmericks

The P5+1 and Iran/ Came up with a brilliant plan:/ Enrichment is stopped/ And sanctions get dropped/ (Though Bibi is not a big fan)./// The P5+1 and IranCame up with a brilliant plan:Enrichment is stoppedAnd sanctions get dropped(Though Bibi is … Continue reading →

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50 Cent Penniless

Posted on July 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A fellow they call 50 Cent/ Maintains all his money is spent./ He’s probably lyin’ – / Get Broke or Die Tryin’/ Was never the rapper’s intent./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-33514174 A fellow they call 50 CentMaintains all his money is spent.He's probably … Continue reading →

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Mexican Wave

Posted on July 13, 2015 by twitmericks

The head of a fearsome cartel/ Has bidden his prison farewell/ Associates tunneled/ As money was funneled/ To those keeping watch on his cell./// http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/el-chapo-escapes-again The head of a fearsome cartelHas bidden his prison farewellAssociates tunneledAs money was funneledTo those … Continue reading →

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Coup de Greece

Posted on July 13, 2015 by twitmericks

The people who run the EU/ Are telling the Greeks what to do./ They’ve lost their autonomy/ To run the economy/ That is why #ThisIsACoup./// http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/jul/13/thisisacoup-germany-faces-backlash-over-tough-greece-bailout-demands The people who run the EUAre telling the Greeks what to do.They've lost their … Continue reading →

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A Minion Bucks

Posted on July 11, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a father whose boy/ Was given a Minion toy/ That said “What the Fuck”/ As dad, horror-struck/ Tho thinking the same, remained coy./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/11730910/WTF-Are-Happy-Meal-Minions-teaching-children-to-swear.html There once was a father whose boyWas given a Minion toyThat said "What … Continue reading →

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Wandering Starr

Posted on July 10, 2015 by twitmericks

A judge found the facts as adduced/ Show Freddie Starr wasn’t traduced/ Confirming he gropes/ And dashing his hopes/ By backing a woman he goosed./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-33477004 A judge found the facts as adducedShow Freddie Starr wasn't traducedConfirming he gropes& dashing … Continue reading →

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