Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Farage Fightback

Posted on May 4, 2014 by twitmericks

When UKIP was under attack/ Old Nigel prepared to fight back/ We’re clearly not racist/ He said, on the basis/ That some of our people are black/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27274621 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/463003549342105600  

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Max Security Jail

Posted on May 2, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Max/ Who fed celeb stories to hacks/ He spun & he lied/ But now he’s inside/ He’s just good for penis-size cracks./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/max-clifford-jailed-eight-years-3487739 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/462249110293450752  

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Gear Failure

Posted on May 2, 2014 by twitmericks

A chap who presented Top Gear/  Said “Now I’ve been rumbled I fear/ But if I sound humble/ Explaining my mumble/ I might just remain in the clear” ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27253880 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/462224714371719168

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Police Process

Posted on May 1, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Belfast/ Whose pals carried out the odd blast/ He then worked for peace/ But now the police/ Are keen to examine his past. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-27233712 There was an old man from BelfastWhose pals carried out … Continue reading →

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RIP Bob Hoskins

Posted on April 30, 2014 by twitmericks

Old Bob was an audience-pleaser/In Mermaids and Hook, Mona Lisa,/On film and TV/We knew him to be/A regular diamond geezer. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27224995 Old Bob was an audience-pleaserIn Mermaids and Hook, Mona Lisa,On film and TVWe knew him to beA regular diamond … Continue reading →

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Mini Max

Posted on April 28, 2014 by twitmericks

Max Clifford, whose penis is short/ (Or so many sources report)/ Won’t long be at large -/ A sex assault charge/ The one thing that stood up in court. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27192600 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/460781934072045568

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Judicial Murder

Posted on April 28, 2014 by twitmericks

A court on the banks of the Nile/ Put 600 people on trial./ ‘Now off with his head’/ The hanging judge said/ In Alice in Wonderland style. ///http://english.ahram.org.eg/News/99979.aspx https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/460716079460139008

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Sterling Racist

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old man from LA/Who said to his girlfriend one day/Don’t hang out with blacks./Obama attacks – /Now over to you, NBA. ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/27/david-sterling-clippers-racist-recording-obama-backlash There was an old man from LAWho said to his girlfriend one dayDon't hang out … Continue reading →

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Pope Idols

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

A couple of Popes became saints/ Who cured folks of fatal complaints/ Providing empirical/ Proof of a miracle/ Wasn’t among the constraints. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27140646 A couple of Popes became saintsWho cured folks of fatal complaintsProviding empiricalProof of a miracleWasn't among the … Continue reading →

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A Desparate Man

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

An Aussie who’d been on the booze/ Mistook a plane’s cockpit for loos/ He paid for his error -/ Suspected of terror/ And plastered all over the news. ///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2613720/Drunk-Australian-passenger-arrested-sparking-hijack-scare-Virgin-plane-Bali-claims-thought-cockpit-door-toilet.html An Aussie who'd been on the boozeMistook a plane's cockpit for … Continue reading →

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