Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Parental Guidance

Posted on April 24, 2014 by twitmericks

Oh dear Muslim mummies and daddies/ Do not let your kids be jihadis/ In Syria’s war,/ Our leaders implore,/ They may get mixed up with the baddies. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/syria-crisis-uk-police-urge-muslim-women-to-report-relatives-planning-to-join-war-9281100.html Oh dear Muslim mummies and daddiesDo not let your kids be jihadisIn … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I AM A WEAKISH SPELLER

Posted on April 23, 2014 by twitmericks

To mark Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, here is the author’s cut (i.e. longer) of my chapter on him in There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar. There was an old fellow named Will Who wrote with rare humour and skill. In … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Not EU, Darling

Posted on April 23, 2014 by twitmericks

A UKIP campaign causing strife/ Says EU migration is rife/ And jobs meant for Brits/ Are taken by Fritz/ (Not least Nigel Farage’s wife). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27115043 A UKIP campaign causing strifeSays EU migration is rifeAnd jobs meant for BritsAre taken by Fritz(Not … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Back, Sack and Crack

Posted on April 23, 2014 by twitmericks

  This one was inspired by today’s front page of the Sun:  Well. it was virtually a limerick already, just needed a few tweaks, so I had a go: Old Moyesy was stabbed in the back/ He said as they … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Frozen One

Posted on April 22, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Moyes/ Who took over Ferguson’s boys/ Before very long/ It all went Pete Tong./ What football creates it destroys. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27107795 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/458521008635658241

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Do You Know the Way from San Jose?

Posted on April 21, 2014 by twitmericks

A teenager left San Jose/ By secretly stowing away/ And managed to fly/ From there to Hawaii/ To airline officials’ dismay. ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/21/teenage-stowaway-survives-flight-pacific-california-hawaii A teenager left San JoseBy secretly stowing awayAnd managed to flyFrom there to HawaiiTo airline officials' dismay. — … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Silvio Foxed

Posted on April 20, 2014 by twitmericks

A former top leader in Rome/ Of heavily transplanted dome/ Who liked bunga-bunga/ With women much younger/ Now works in an old people’s home. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27033315 A former top leader in RomeOf heavily transplanted domeWho liked bunga-bungaWith women much youngerNow works … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Booty-flicker Back

Posted on April 18, 2014 by twitmericks

There is an old man in Algiers/ Who’s in for another 5 years/ Although Bouteflika/ Gets weaker & weaker/ His hold on the state perseveres. ///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/04/18/uk-algeria-election-results-idUKBREA3H0IN20140418 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/457261869586477056

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Chronicle of A Death

Posted on April 18, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old man, Gabriel/  To whom we must now say farewell/ His novels live on/ But Marquez is gone/ A death we could sadly foretell. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-27073911 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456944489891102720

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Taking the Piss

Posted on April 17, 2014 by twitmericks

A reservoir had to be drained/So Portland officials explained/When someone passed water/Where nobody oughta/(Let’s hope all the fishes refrained). ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/17/portland-flush-38m-gallons-water-man-urinates-reservoir?commentpage=2https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456848916638867457    

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment