Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jam Tomorrow

Posted on October 4, 2016 by twitmericks

The UK department of trade/ Says Britain must not be afraid/ No need to get nervous/ Our jam will preserve us/ You can’t beat Seville marmalade./// Stay calm, Brexit-worriers: Liam Fox has a plan to sell ‘innovative British jams and … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Tax-Free Trump

Posted on October 3, 2016 by twitmericks

From Donald Trump’s leaked tax returns/ The US electorate learns/ He got to evade/ The tax others paid/ Which may not look smart at the urns./// From Donald #Trump's leaked tax returnsThe US electorate learnsHe got to evadeThe tax others paidWhich … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Pub Rub-a-Dub

Posted on October 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A coke-addled fellow in Lancs/ Engaging in marathon wanks/ Was held by police/ For breach of the peace/ As pubs aren’t the place for such pranks./// http://m.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/13778453.Blackburn_man_caught_pleasuring_himself_for_40_minutes_in_pub_beer_garden_after_snorting_five_lines_of_cocaine/?ref=mr&lp=2 A coke-addled fellow in LancsEngaging in marathon wanksWas held by policeFor breach of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Rosetta Hits Stone

Posted on September 30, 2016 by twitmericks

A probe that was tracking a comet/ Was sent kamikaze to bomb it/ Rosetta crash-landed/ Eternally stranded/ But first dispatched images from it./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37520420 A probe that was tracking a cometWas sent kamikaze to bomb it#Rosetta crash-landedEternally strandedBut first dispatched … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

No Pandering to Pandas

Posted on September 30, 2016 by twitmericks

A panda who lived on a glove/ Got grief from the powers above/ Producers feared Sooty/ Might get a bit smutty/ If he and Soo found puppet love./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37505309 A panda who lived on a gloveGot grief from the powers … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Once Bitten, Twice Bitten

Posted on September 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A very unfortunate man/ Got spider-bites twice on the can/ Both times on his cock/ Which though quite a shock/ Was clearly no flash in the pan./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251 A very unfortunate manGot spider-bites twice on the canBoth times on his … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Scam, Cam, Thank You Sam

Posted on September 27, 2016 by twitmericks

The ex-England gaffer Big Sam/ Fell foul of a secret spycam/ That filmed Allardyce / Dispensing advice/ On a third-party ownership scam./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37483344 The ex-England gaffer Big SamFell foul of a secret spycamThat filmed #Allardyce Dispensing adviceOn a third-party ownership … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Keep Your Hair on, Don

Posted on September 27, 2016 by twitmericks

The candidates Clinton and Trump/ Faced off one-to-one on the stump/ Debating her emails/ And him dissing females,/ Which put Donald into a grump./// http://www.vox.com/2016/9/27/13067822/debate-clinton-trump-sexism The candidates #Clinton & #TrumpFaced off one-to-one on the stumpDebating her emails& him dissing females,Which … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bum Rap

Posted on September 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A new law in Melbourne, Australia/ Bans mooning and bare genitalia/ Forbidding the streak/ And flash of bum-cheek/ Or similar paraphernalia./// http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/courts-law/mooning-ban-you-could-have-people-doing-it-everyday-with-no-sanction-victoria-attorney-general-says/news-story/51f364aa16962e9225e1e1b93bc0fa49 A new law in Melbourne, AustraliaBans mooning and bare genitaliaForbidding the streakAnd flash of bum-cheekOr similar paraphernalia. — … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Owen, Goin’, Gone

Posted on September 24, 2016 by twitmericks

The leadership challenger Owen/ Did not make a good enough showin’,/ Found not as absorbin’/ As Jeremy Corbyn/ Who saw his majority growin’./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37461219 The leadership challenger OwenDid not make a good enough showin',Found not as absorbin'As Jeremy CorbynWho saw … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment