An old Labour man with a beard/
Conservative media smeared/
Got more folks elected/
Than pollsters expected/
And some in his own party feared.///
NB: I’ve been away for a couple of days, tweeting but not updating the blog – so there are a couple more post-election limericks on the way.
The DUP chief Arlene Foster/
Will fill the Conservative roster/
With her ten MPs;/
Though happy to please,/
She’s told Mrs May it’ll cost ‘er.///
Ex-leader of UKIP Paul Nuttall/
Whose campaign was not very suttall/
Has now had to quit/
Because he was shit/
As shown by the voters’ rebuttall.///
There once was a woman named May/
Who threw an election away/
She lost her majority/
And has no authority/
How long can she honestly stay?///
A Sheffield MP known as Nick/
Attracted a fair bit of stick/
And some aggravation/
For his Con-Dem nation/
And now he’s been given the flick.///
The contest to lead the UK,/
Which comes to a climax today,/
Became more absorbin’/
When Jeremy Corbyn/
Was seen outcampaigning Ms May.///
The man fired as FBI head/
Revealed what the President said:/
“Now listen here Comey/
Lay off of my homey/
And put this inquiry to bed”.///
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jun/07/james-comey-trump-congress-statement
Theresa did not say she’d sworn/
Or secretly read her dad’s porn/
Invited to name/
Her naughtiest shame/
She said she once trampled some corn.///
*coined by @JonathanDean_
https://www.buzzfeed.com/fionarutherford/never-have-i-ever?utm_term=.bsKaGEyap#.vvpYzaMY4
As real leaders go on the air/
To tell London people they care,/
The orange bullshitter/
Is lying on Twitter/
About Sadiq Khan, London’s mayor.///
When killers attempt to spread fear/
Our duty is perfectly clear/
Oppose them as one/
And if you must run/
Then run without spilling your beer.///
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-flees-london-bridge-terror-10557555
