Christmas Rhyme

For the last few years I have been writing a couple of light-hearted limericks on a biblical theme for each issue of 197 magazine*, published quarterly by St James’s Church Piccadilly. So as a Christmas treat (tweet?) I tweeted one from this month’s issue, tweaked to fit 140 characters:

To Bethlehem travel 3 kings/

Each one with a present he brings/

Myrrh, frankincense, gold/

(All stocks having sold/

Of suitable seasonal things).

***

{In the original, the last two lines ran:

(The shops having sold/

Their stocks of more practical things).

which sounds about the same length, but is in fact significantly longer.}

***

I’m indebted to @jadeserotica for pointing out that the carol We Three Kings of Orient Are in fact already has a limerick structure – the metre is slightly different, but it does also rhyme AABBA (are/far/leading/proceeding/star).

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MICK TWISTER!

* 197 magazine

Click to access 197_winter_for_web.compressed2.pdf

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More FIFA Madness

A FIFA supremo named Blatter/

Whose wallet grew fatter and fatter/

From dubious dealing/

Declares he’s appealing/

(A somewhat debatable matter).///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/35144652

 

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Magic Carpet-bombing

The terrorist state Agrabah/

Provokes Uncle Sam way too far./

We must stop Aladdin/

Fomenting jihad in/

This fictional city’s bazaar.///

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/dec/18/republican-voters-bomb-agrabah-disney-aladdin-donald-trump

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Special Dispensation

There was an old man named Jose/

Whose players forgot how to play/

So as Chelsea lost/

He found to his cost/

He’s not quite so special today.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34670192

 

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Don’t Diss the Dog

For Thais to be iconoclastic/

Or risk being seen as sarcastic/

About the king’s pup/

Can get them had up/

For lèse-majesté, which seems drastic.///

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/dec/15/thai-man-faces-jail-insulting-kings-dog-sarcastic-internet-post

 

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A Doctor Writes…

Republican Donald’s physician/

Said: “Trump is in A1 condition,/

Of excellent health/

And also great wealth,/

(Which helped to decide my position)”.///

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2015/12/14/doctor-donald-trump-strength-stamina-extraordinary/77302000/

 

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Global Warning

A summit on climate in France

Agreed on the following stance:

We’re warming the planet

And really must can it

To give future humans a chance.

///http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/dec/13/world-leaders-hail-paris-climate-deal

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Hack Backtrack

A CPS probe that was tracking/

Those guilty of telephone hacking/

Says sadly in terms/

Of bosses of firms/

The proof of involvement is lacking.///

 http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/dec/11/no-further-action-against-mirror-over-phone-hacking-cps-says
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Bottom Trumps

Republican candidate Trump/

Discovered when out on the stump/

Instead of fine words/

His mouth produced turds/

As Donald spoke out of his rump.///

 

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God on his Side?

Enlisting a god up above

To justify hate and not love

And stab passers-by

Invites a reply

That says: #YouAintNoMuslimBruv.

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