DJ Boobs

Posted on August 16, 2015 by twitmericks

A BBC DJ from Hants/
Aired weird anti-breastfeeding rants/
This angered the Beeb/
And led to the dweeb/
Receiving a kick in the pants.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33904758

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Bic Gets Stick

Posted on August 12, 2015 by twitmericks

The pen manufacturer Bic/
Knows just how to talk to a chick/
For feminine pens/
Are different from men’s/
As long as you think like a dick.///
http://af.reuters.com/article/topNews/idAFKCN0QH0WY20150812

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William’s Chillums

Posted on August 12, 2015 by twitmericks

Will Shakespeare wrote brilliant plays,/
The coiner of many a phrase/
Now pipes in his yard/
Suggest the old bard/
Did this in a weed-scented haze.///
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/william-shakespeare/11792533/Cannabis-discovered-in-tobacco-pipes-found-in-William-Shakespeares-garden.html

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Trump’s Lead Bleeds Away

Posted on August 10, 2015 by twitmericks

Republican wannabe Trump/

Finds backers are taking the hump/

Because the old bleeder/

Who wants to be leader/

Persistently speaks from his rump.///

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/aug/08/donald-trump-roger-stone-megyn-kelly

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Minder Reminder

Posted on August 7, 2015 by twitmericks

Farewell to the actor George Cole/
For whom the bell now has to toll/
The man played a blinder/
As Arthur in Minder/
A quite unforgettable role.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/george-cole-dead-an-appreciation-of-the-minder-star-who-was-king-of-the-tv-spivs-10444206.html

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Hitch Glitch

Posted on August 4, 2015 by twitmericks

A robot that set out to hitch/
Encountered a sonofabitch/
Who cut off its head/
And left it for dead,/
A serious technical glitch.///
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/hitchbot-robot-beheaded-philadelphia-feat/index.html

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Hard Cell

Posted on August 4, 2015 by twitmericks

A trader and schemer and briber/
Convicted of rigging the Libor/
Has plenty of time/
To ponder his crime/
While sat in a cell on his Khyber*.///
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/aug/03/former-city-trader-tom-hayes-convicted-of-libor-rigging

*Cockney rhyming slang – Khyber pass=arse.

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Breast Stroke

Posted on August 2, 2015 by twitmericks

Hongkongers wore bras to protest/
At Lai-ying’s unlikely arrest/
She’s now doing time/
In jail for the crime/
Of hitting a cop with her breast.///
http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/08/hong-kong-breast-walk-protest-court-ruling-150802110617144.html

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Minnesota Nasty

Posted on July 29, 2015 by twitmericks

A dentist who hunted big game/
Sought trophies to garner him fame/
But public distress’ll/
Ensure killing Cecil/
Brings Walter unlimited shame.///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/29/cecil-the-lion-calls-for-prosecution-us-dentist-walter-palmer

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Lord of Misrule

Posted on July 28, 2015 by twitmericks

An old orange bra-wearing Lord/
Had fun as he snorted and whored/
But public life’s cruel/
And so Baron Sewel/
Must publicly fall on his sword.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33685519

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