Comedy polled

Posted on April 22, 2019 by twitmericks

A comic’s successful campaign/

Has brought him electoral gain;/

“They laughed”, he deadpanned,/

“On hearing I’d stand -/

They’re not laughing now in Ukraine!”

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Muellered

Posted on April 19, 2019 by twitmericks

The President tried to obstruct/

The Mueller inquiry, and ducked/

Its questions, and though/

He’s crowing, we know/

He greeted its launch with “I’m fucked”.///

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High School

Posted on April 17, 2019 by twitmericks

A chemistry prof, Japanese,
Whose students learnt how to make Es/
Is under arrest
By cops unimpressed
With MD-MA joint degrees.///

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Porn to lose

Posted on April 16, 2019 by twitmericks

A fellow whose folks binned his porn/

Decided, to general scorn,/

To sue mum and dad;/

He said: “Though it’s sad, Dilemma-wise, I’m on the horn”.///

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Tiger feat

Posted on April 15, 2019 by twitmericks

A golfer well known for his drive/

Rose fast, then went into a dive/

Until Tiger Woods/

Delivered the goods/

For Green Jacket win number 5.///

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Turning turtle

Posted on April 15, 2019 by twitmericks

The death of a rare Yangtze turtle/

Ensures that the species will hurtle/

Towards its demise/

If all three are guys,/

So let’s hope one’s female (and fertile*).///

*North American pronunciation, of course – but not much rhymes with turtle. I guess that’s why Siouxsie and the Banshees rhymed it with ‘purple’ in ‘Christine’.

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Every day he loves you less and less

Posted on April 13, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Trump/

Who, when he was out on the stump,/

Adored Wikileaks,/

Which now, when he speaks,/

He seems rather eager to dump.///

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Out on his Assange

Posted on April 11, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an old man with a beard/

Who said it is just as I feared,/

My embassy haven/

When young and clean-shaven/

Has gone, and the cops have appeared.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47891737

 

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Khartoum Kharacter

Posted on April 11, 2019 by twitmericks

Ex-Sudanese leader Bashir/

Held power for many a year/

Till those he oppressed/

Rose up to protest/

And now he is out on his ear.///

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Brex-tension

Posted on April 11, 2019 by twitmericks

Theresa May’s stated intention/

Was seeking a short-term extension;/

Though Merkel, Macron/

And others said ‘Non’,/

They threw her a bone of contention.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47889404

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