Category Archives: Uncategorized

Vince fails to pull it off

Posted on September 18, 2018 by twitmericks

The speech said ‘erotic’ and ‘spasm’,/ But Vince in his enthusiasm/ Got nervous and slipped,/ And mangling the script,/ Cocked up his linguistic orgasm./// The speech said 'erotic' and 'spasm',But Vince in his enthusiasmGot nervous and slipped,And mangling the script,Cocked … Continue reading →

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Sex on fire

Posted on September 17, 2018 by twitmericks

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading →

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Research my arse!

Posted on September 15, 2018 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Japan/ Who gave his own colon a scan;/ He put on some lube,/ Inserted a tube/ And shouted: ‘The film’s in the can!‘/// There was an old man from JapanWho gave his own colon … Continue reading →

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Fairground Pass

Posted on September 14, 2018 by twitmericks

In theme parks, enjoying a ride/ May help dislodge pebbles inside;/ By rattling your bones/ They send kidney stones/ Direct to the big water slide./// In theme parks, enjoying a rideMay help dislodge pebbles inside;By rattling your bonesThey send kidney … Continue reading →

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Tall Story pt 2

Posted on September 14, 2018 by twitmericks

Two Russian intelligence pipal/ Suspected of poisoning Skripal/ With evil intent/ Insist they just went/ To look at a very tall stipal./// There’s always a balance to be struck between reacting fast, when everyone is focused on the story, and … Continue reading →

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Tall Story

Posted on September 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Two Russian men went to admire/ The world-famous Salisbury spire,/ Whose height is renowned,/ But had to turn round -/ In England the snow can be dire!/// Two Russian men went to admireThe world-famous Salisbury spire,Whose height is renowned,But had … Continue reading →

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Beat the Meatles*

Posted on September 13, 2018 by twitmericks

The Beatles were birds of a feather,/ And long before Linda or Heather,/ With help from their friends,/ McCartney contends/ That he and John did Come Together.//// *Headline shamelessly nicked from the New York Post, of all places. The Beatles … Continue reading →

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Court Challenge

Posted on September 11, 2018 by twitmericks

Ms Williams feels umpires are keener/ To punish a girl’s misdemeanour,/ While stars who are boys/ Can kick up a noise,/ A woman must act much Serena./// Ms Williams feels umpires are keenerTo punish a girl's misdemeanour,While stars who are … Continue reading →

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Trevor no-mates

Posted on September 10, 2018 by twitmericks

A mallard who’s down on his luck/ Flew off to Niue and got stuck,/ Alone in his puddle/ With no one to cuddle/ Or act out the phrase “fuck a duck!”/// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1039169051338199041

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A thing of Budey

Posted on September 9, 2018 by twitmericks

All Cornwall-based tours should include/ The glowingly, widely reviewed/ World-famous, fantastic,/ Great tunnel of plastic/ In Sainsbury’s car park in Bude./// All Cornwall-based tours should include The glowingly, widely reviewedWorld-famous, fantastic,Great tunnel of plasticIn Sainsbury's car park in Bude.https://t.co/8d1iJonfpo#Bude — … Continue reading →

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