Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nigella Gets Her Line Straight

Posted on December 5, 2013 by twitmericks

Nigella says though she took coke/ And had the occasional toke/ The cause of this error/ Was intimate terror/ By Saatchi, her brute of a bloke./// http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/saatchi-terror-drove-me-to-drugs-nigella-tells-trial-29811308.html   https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/408594994023264256

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Limerick Competition: The Results

Posted on December 5, 2013 by twitmericks

Thanks very much to all those who participated in my limerick competition, via Twitter, the blog or the Facebook page. I wanted to keep it open, rather than dictating the first line, and that certainly resulted in a variety of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Semen’s Mission

Posted on December 4, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a PM in mid-term/ Who went to Beijing to affirm/ That UK-bred swine are/ Producing for China Industrial doses of sperm./// http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/90d516fc-5cc7-11e3-81bd-00144feabdc0.html?siteedition=uk#axzz2mVAuhIr9 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/408229260889845762  

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Ghetto Falsetto

Posted on December 4, 2013 by twitmericks

So farewell then Junior Murvin/ Whose legacy’s well worth preservin’/ He sang of the ghetto/ In piercing falsetto/ Compelling & oddly unnervin’./// ///http://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/dec/03/reggae-singer-junior-murvin-dies https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/408181787982962688

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Boris has a Mare On Air

Posted on December 3, 2013 by twitmericks

A self-styled elitist and Mayor/ Has failed an IQ test on air/ Though mop-headed Boris/ Can memorise Horace/ His intellect’s ‘fair’, like his hair. ///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/dec/03/boris-johnson-fails-live-iq-test?CMP=fb_gu A self-styled elitist and MayorHas failed an IQ test on airTho mop-headed BorisCan memorise HoraceHis … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

A Woman With Balls

Posted on December 2, 2013 by twitmericks

A woman from Melbourne, Australia/ Does knitting with her genitalia/ She’ll sit in the buff/ & make a nice muff/ (Or such woolly paraphernalia)./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/casey-jenkins-vagina-knitting-woman-2864626 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/407550539237318656

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Limerick Competition – Win ‘There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar’!

Posted on November 30, 2013 by twitmericks

Right, your turn now! I’m holding a limerick competition to mark the US publication of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks by Mick Twister on December 1. Out in the UK and elsewhere … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Early Day Motions

Posted on November 29, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an old Argentine pit/Where dinosaurs once used to sit/And various species/Deposited faeces./It’s now full of fossilised shit./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25126333 There is an old Argentine pitWhere dinosaurs once used to sitAnd various speciesDeposited faeces.It's now full of fossilised shit. — … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Where There’s Muck There’s Bitcoins

Posted on November 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There is a young fellow from Gwent/Whose bitcoins will never be spent/His virtual cash/Went out with the trash/An action he came to repent. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-25134289 There is a young fellow from GwentWhose bitcoins will never be spentHis virtual cashWent out with … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Farewell Araucaria

Posted on November 26, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old crossword compiler,/ A word-weaving cryptic freestyler./ Farewell Araucaria/ Infinite varier,/ Witty, bewitching beguiler.  ///http://www.theguardian.com/crosswords/2013/nov/26/araucaria-crossword-setter-john-graham-dies https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/405381894511919105 ++RIP John Graham. He was hugely influential to me as a crossword compiler. I never met him, but had one very … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment