Rock ‘n’ troll

Posted on January 13, 2019 by twitmericks

When Williams got into a spat/

With Page in the neighbouring flat,*/

To get him annoyed/

He blasted Pink Floyd,/

Deep Purple and Sabbath – take that!///

*for rhyming and scansion – I know it’s a mansion.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quailing quisling

Posted on January 12, 2019 by twitmericks

A Brexit supporter named Grayling/

Would like to see democrats quailing/

For fear that it might/

Incite the far right/

To find all their schemes unavailing.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh no it isn’t any good

Posted on January 11, 2019 by twitmericks

A show with a beanstalk and Jack/

At Christmas came in for such flak/

They had to admit/

The panto was shit/

And give the admission fee back.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Radio stars

Posted on January 10, 2019 by twitmericks

Astronomers picked up a trace/

Of radio signals from space,/

Suggesting we may/

Discover some day/

A podcasting alien race.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Cock-eyed prescription

Posted on January 8, 2019 by twitmericks

A woman who to her surprise/

Got cream of the type one applies/

For penile dysfunction,/

Not ocular unction,/

Is now making love with her eyes.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Trucking hell

Posted on January 7, 2019 by twitmericks

The government lined up some truckers,/

And taking the public for suckers,/

Said this would reveal/

They’re primed for No Deal,/

The lying incompetent fuckers*.///

*Looking back over 2018, I realised I’d used the last-minute swerve-the-swear-word gag about half a dozen times, so maybe I need to mix it up a bit more to keep you all on your toes!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Ships with everything

Posted on January 4, 2019 by twitmericks

All customers hiring our ships/

For post-Brexit freight-bearing trips/

In case of No Deal,/

When choosing your meal,/

Please order side salad or chips.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Lunar New Year

Posted on January 3, 2019 by twitmericks

To China it seemed opportune/

To claim the dark side of the moon,/

And show, in the race,/

To colonise space,/

Who’s currently calling the tune.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Astro-nuts

Posted on January 3, 2019 by twitmericks

A space probe passed Ultima Thule*/

And sent back a pic of it duly;/

The photo recalls/

A snowman, or balls,/

With one large and one smaller goolie**.///

*Pronunciation note: that’s right, it’s thoolie.

**Vocabulary note: this may be UK only, and more often used in the plural – as in ‘a kick in the goolies’.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mitt dumps Trump

Posted on January 2, 2019 by twitmericks

His fellow Republican, Mitt,/

Declared Donald Trump is unfit/

And went on to say/

He’s causing dismay./

The rest of the world said: “No Shit!”///

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment