Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Off the wall

Posted on December 11, 2018 by twitmericks

When Trump met Pelosi and Schumer,/ It put him in rather bad humour./ On hearing his wall/ Had no chance at all,/ He turned a deep shade of satsuma./// When Trump met Pelosi and Schumer,It put him in rather bad … Continue reading →

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Christmas stuffing

Posted on December 9, 2018 by twitmericks

A mum buying stuff for nativity/ Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/ To her it was news/ Inflatable ewes/ Are some people’s sexual proclivity./// A mum buying stuff for nativityWas thrown by the school's negativity –To her it was … Continue reading →

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AKA AKK

Posted on December 7, 2018 by twitmericks

Ms Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer/ Whom Merkel’s been grooming for power/ Is now to succeed ‘er/ As CDU leader,/ And after that? Cometh the hour…/// Ms Annegret Kramp-KarrenbauerWhom Merkel's been grooming for powerIs now to succeed 'erAs CDU leader,And after that? Cometh … Continue reading →

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Eels in seals

Posted on December 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A hungry Hawaiian monk seal/ Was rather annoyed by an eel/ Which got up its nose,/ Researchers suppose,/ To get out of being its meal./// A hungry Hawaiian monk sealWas rather annoyed by an eelWhich got up its nose,Researchers suppose,To … Continue reading →

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Shrinky-winky

Posted on December 6, 2018 by twitmericks

The substance behind the neat trick/ Of making a saucepan non-stick/ Was recently tested,/ And when it’s ingested,/ Reduces the size of one’s dick./// The substance behind the neat trickOf making a saucepan non-stickWas recently tested,And when it's ingested,Reduces the … Continue reading →

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Hugger mugger

Posted on December 6, 2018 by twitmericks

A fashion world mover and shaker/ Coerced female staff at Ted Baker/ With forcible hugs/ While kissing their lugs,/ The lecherous liberty-taker./// A fashion world mover and shakerCoerced female staff at Ted Baker With forcible hugsWhile stroking their lugs,The lecherous … Continue reading →

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Present perfect

Posted on December 5, 2018 by twitmericks

If gifts for your missus or mister,/ Your mum or dad, brother or sister/ Seem tricky to find/ Then please bear in mind/ A limerick book by Mick Twister./// https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&text=Mick+Twister&search-alias=books&field-author=Mick+Twister&sort=relevancerank  

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MPs dis May

Posted on December 5, 2018 by twitmericks

Prime Minister May lost a vote,/ Of which she will have to take note,/ On legal advice,/ But having lost thrice,/ Perhaps she should just get her coat./// Prime Minister May lost a vote,Of which she will have to take … Continue reading →

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Your name in the front of a book         

Posted on December 3, 2018 by twitmericks

I’ve been doing this for friends for a while, so I thought I’d stick a note here in case anyone is interested. The idea is that you furnish me with some salient details about yourself, or someone you would like … Continue reading →

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Double trouble

Posted on December 3, 2018 by twitmericks

Nigeria’s leader denied/ Reports that he recently died:/ ‘The rumours are wrong,/ I’m still going strong!’,/ A man who resembled him cried./// Nigeria's leader deniedReports that he recently died:'The rumours are wrong,I'm still going strong!',A man who resembled him cried.https://t.co/7vNIxzFMvb#buhari … Continue reading →

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