Power Shower

Posted on April 13, 2018 by twitmericks

James Comey said there is a seed/
Of doubt in my mind, I concede -/
I can’t rightly tell/
If in a hotel/
Trump watched while some prostitutes peed.///

Comey: ‘It’s possible’ that so-called pee tape is real

 

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You Must Be Toking!

Posted on April 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Some cops lost a big stash of pot/

Then argued that mice ate the lot./

The judge said ‘So why/

Are said mice not high?/

You may be on drugs but I’m not!’///

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Now She’s in Purple, Now She’s a Turtle*

Posted on April 12, 2018 by twitmericks

A turtle in Queensland,/

Australia Resembles a punk, only scalier,/

With bright green Mohican,/

In streams he or she can/

Draw breath using gilled genitalia.///

*The only punk/turtle link that came to mind was this lyric from Christine, by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Shame the colour’s wrong.

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Facebook Quiz

Posted on April 11, 2018 by twitmericks

The House gave the great Facebook wiz/

A short social media quiz:/

“What’s on your mind, Mark?/

Were you kept in the dark/

About the fact harvesting biz?”///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-43725643

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Desert Stormy

Posted on April 10, 2018 by twitmericks

“Though Feds and DAs are all swarmy”/
Said Trump, “I know what’ll restore me/:
A new operation/
In some Mideast nation -/
‘Op Desert Forget About Stormy'”.///

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/04/09/politics/donald-trump-michael-cohen-anger-robert-mueller/index.html

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Is that Badenoch For You?

Posted on April 8, 2018 by twitmericks

MP Kemi Badenoch hacked/

A rival, a criminal act/

The Tory vice-chair/

Decided to share;/

If lucky, she’ll only be sacked.///

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Guano Guest’s Pepperoni Pardon

Posted on April 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A hotel has lifted a ban/

Imposed on a Halifax man/

Whose sausage mishap/

Brought seagulls to crap,/

At which point the shit hit the fan.///

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Crap Story

Posted on April 6, 2018 by twitmericks

Prince Charles says it’s crap and untrue/

That when he has business to do/

And people to meet/

He takes his own seat/

For use on an overseas loo.///

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/prince-charles-snaps-at-radio-reporters-crap-question/news-story/8dd0d5df6df89cb1da5a4623abac0bf5

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Poor Match

Posted on April 6, 2018 by twitmericks

When Tinder saw Manchester City,/

The team at first sight looked quite pretty;/

The two both swiped right,/

But after last night/

The app will just shag out of pity.///

https://uk.reuters.com/article/us-soccer-england-mci-tinder/man-city-find-their-perfect-match-with-tinder-deal-idUKKCN1HC197?il=0

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Liar, Liar…

Posted on April 4, 2018 by twitmericks

Old Boris the would-be high-flier/

Is known as a frequent supplier/

Of dubious fallacies,/

Forensic analyses/

Revealing his pants are on fire.///

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