The US Vice-President Pence/
Helped out with the Free World’s defence/
By boycotting Mister/
Jong-Un’s little sister/
And sitting alone looking tense.///
The US Vice-President Pence/
Helped out with the Free World’s defence/
By boycotting Mister/
Jong-Un’s little sister/
And sitting alone looking tense.///
A secretive organisation/
With handshake identification,/
With trouserlegs rolled/
And trowels to hold/
Complains about stigmatisation.///
The use of a DNA trace/
To reconstruct Cheddar Man’s face/
Shows Britons were black/
10,000 years back,/
Which challenges concepts of race.///
Berlin had a wall, or a Mauer,/
Of equal duration, or Dauer,/
To that since die Wende,/
Which spelt the wall’s Ende/
As Germans got angry, or sauer.///
After the previous one, I decided it would be nice to incorporate a few apt German rhymes – but with translation to help. Of those not translated, End of course means ‘end’. while ‘die Wende’, the turning point, is used to refer to fall of the wall, the collapse of East Germany and eventual reunification. An earlier draft had the last line ‘As Krauts got increasingly sauer’, but I’m not sure how genuinely offensive that word is to people, so I avoided it in the end.
The President got in a mess/
Attacking the Brits’ NHS,/
Which, though his pal Farage/
Is apt to disparage,/
The people want more of, not less.///
The time that’s elapsed since the fall/
Of Berlin’s partitioning wall/
Has gone by so fast/
That now it’s surpassed/
How long it existed at all.///
http://www.dw.com/en/berlin-wall-now-gone-for-as-long-as-it-stood/a-42418154
Rees-Mogg says remainiac riggers/
Are cooking the Treasury figures./
Home minister Rudd/
Says stop talking crud,/
While Boris just watches and sniggers.///
A pensioner caught on a farm/
Was causing the animals harm;/
His thrill seemed to come/
From some poor cow’s bum/
Up which he was thrusting his arm.///
An artist attempted in vain/
To carry her bird on a plane,/
United denying/
A peacock, when flying,/
Might help with emotional strain.///
Researchers have found a cetacean/
Who’ll handle a brief conversation;/
Young Wikie the orca/
Is not a bad talker/
Just don’t expect long peroration.///