twitmericks

Norman News Network

Posted on January 17, 2018 by twitmericks

The Normans had no way of showing/

How well England’s conquest was going -/

No press or TV,/

No tweets, no FB – /

So nuns had to get to work sewing.///

The Normans had no way of showing
How well England's conquest was going –
No press or TV,
No tweets, no FB –
So nuns had to get to work sewing.#BayeuxTapestry #Bayeux https://t.co/oBK2LzQ8JV

And here's a bonus limerick on 1066 from "There Once was a King with 6 Wives": pic.twitter.com/BVaimXEXCg

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 17, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bayeux tapestry, france, hastings, history, normans | Leave a comment

The Nose Knows Best

Posted on January 16, 2018 by twitmericks

A fellow who stifled a sneeze/

Prevented the spread of disease/

But ruptured his throat,/

Two specialists note,/

So just use a handkerchief please.///

A fellow who stifled a sneeze
Prevented the spread of disease
But ruptured his throat,
Two specialists note,
So just use a handkerchief please.#SNEEZE #sneezing https://t.co/dnLBkHDdYF

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 16, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged health, medical, sneezing | Leave a comment

Carillion’s Billions

Posted on January 15, 2018 by twitmericks

An outsourcing firm going under/
Prompts government critics to wonder/
Was giving Carillion,/
With debts of a billion,/
More contracts a bit of a blunder?///

An outsourcing firm going under
Prompts government critics to wonder
Was giving Carillion,
With debts of a billion,
More contracts a bit of a blunder.#Carillion https://t.co/iGYIqfdODl

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 15, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged carillion, construction, contracts, liquidation, outsourcing | Leave a comment

Henry Gives Partner the Chop

Posted on January 15, 2018 by twitmericks

A rather obscure UKIP chief/
Whose colleagues expressed the belief/
That his partner’s racism/
Somewhat disgraces ’em/
Has made the relationship brief.///

A rather obscure UKIP chief
Whose colleagues expressed the belief
That his partner's racism
Somewhat disgraces 'em
Made the relationship brief.#UKIP #HenryBolton #jomarney #racism https://t.co/3x0HDmmlLo

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 15, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged henry bolton, racism, ukip | Leave a comment

Battered Sausage

Posted on January 13, 2018 by twitmericks

A butcher got trapped in his store/
With frozen meat products galore;/
He did what he could/
And grabbed a black pud/
Then used it to bash in the door.///

A butcher got trapped in his store
With frozen meat products galore;
He did what he could
And grabbed a black pud,
Then used it to bash in the door.https://t.co/EWvIwJ2vHW

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 13, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged black pudding, butcher, weird | Leave a comment

Talking Shithole

Posted on January 12, 2018 by twitmericks

United States President Trump,/

Whose words are produced from his rump,/

Was rude about Haitians/

And African nations/

And branded south London a dump.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jan/12/donald-trump-visit-to-london-called-off-amid-fears-of-mass-protests

United States President Trump,
Whose words are produced from his rump,
Was rude about Haitians
And African nations
And branded south London a dump.#Trump #ShitholeDonnie

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 12, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged africa, el salvador, haiti, immigration, shithole, trump, uk | Leave a comment

Pale Stale Male Fail

Posted on January 12, 2018 by twitmericks

There was an old BBC chap/
Who scoffed at the gender pay gap/
While trousering pay/
Of 650K,/
Which many folks find a bit crap.///

There was an old BBC chap
Who scoffed at the gender pay gap
While trousering pay
Of 650K,
Which many folks find a bit crap.#JohnHumphrys #BBCR4today #BBCPay #carriegracie #GenderPayGap

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 12, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bbc, equal pay, gender pay gap | Leave a comment

Storm in a D-Cup

Posted on January 12, 2018 by twitmericks

A top upper-class corsetière/

Whose undies the royal folk wear/

Is losing its warrant/

For acts most abhorrent -/

Discussing the queen’s brassière!///

A top upper-class corsetière
Whose undies the royal folk wear
Is losing its warrant
For acts most abhorrent –
Discussing the queen's brassière!#rigbyandpeller

https://t.co/Ge81v5A67s

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 11, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bra, lingerie, queen, rigby and peller, royals, underwear | Leave a comment

Young, Dumb and Full of Shit

Posted on January 9, 2018 by twitmericks

Provocative Toadmeister Young,/
Beset by an odour that clung,/
Has now had to quit,/
Pursued by the shit/
That he himself joyfully flung.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42617922

Provocative Toadmeister Young,
Beset by an odour that clung,
Has now had to quit,
Pursued by the shit
That he himself joyfully flung.#TobyYoung #TobyYoungResigns #toadmeister @toadmeister

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 9, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged education, students, toadmeister, toby young, tories, twitter, university | Leave a comment

Muffled Reshuffle

Posted on January 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A strong, stable leader named May/

Reshuffled her people today,/

But those told to go/

Just answered her ‘No!’/

And so she allowed them to stay.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-42615003

A strong, stable leader named May
Reshuffled her people today,
But those told to go
Just answered her 'No!'
And so she allowed them to stay.#reshuffle #reshufflekerfuffle #Mayhem

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) January 8, 2018

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cabinet, may, reshuffle, tories, uk | Leave a comment

twitmericks

Norman News Network

The Nose Knows Best

Carillion’s Billions

Henry Gives Partner the Chop

Battered Sausage

Talking Shithole

Pale Stale Male Fail

Storm in a D-Cup

Young, Dumb and Full of Shit

Muffled Reshuffle

Recent Posts

Archives

Archives

Categories

Twitter

Meta

Limerick sites

Twitmericks on Mumsnet

Blogroll