Tag Archives: weird

Shit Date

Posted on September 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A woman pursuing a poo/ She just couldn’t flush down the loo/ While out on a Tinder/ Got stuck in the winder/ Till freed by a firefighting crew./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296 A woman pursuing a pooShe just couldn't flush down the looWhile … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Going Through the Motions

Posted on August 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Gardening Tools

Posted on May 6, 2017 by twitmericks

It’s World Naked Gardening Day / So cast inhibition away/ And prune the azalea/ With bare genitalia,/ Hose out and bush on display./// http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/05/04/this-saturday-is-world-naked-gardening-day_a_22068394/ It's #worldnakedgardeningday So cast inhibition awayAnd prune the azaleaWith bare genitalia,Hose out and bush on display. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Eel Feel That!

Posted on April 22, 2017 by twitmericks

A man put an eel up his butt/ Which made its way into his gut/ Although constipation/ Was his explanation/ The case is not open and shut./// http://shanghaiist.com/2017/04/20/live_eel_constipation_cure.php https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/855868770220482561

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Dildo Fails Penetration Test

Posted on April 6, 2017 by twitmericks

Consumers beware of the fact/ A wifi sex toy can be hacked/ To livestream your cavity/ So those of depravity/ Can watch your most intimate act./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-39490391 Consumers beware of the factA wifi sex toy can be hackedTo livestream your … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Near the Bone

Posted on March 16, 2017 by twitmericks

A firefighting crew played a blinder/ By using a big angle grinder/ To cut off a ring/ Stuck on a man’s thing/ Tho vaseline might’ve been kinder./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486 A firefighting crew played a blinderBy using a big angle grinderTo cut … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Illegal Stimulant

Posted on March 14, 2017 by twitmericks

An app for remote stimulation/ Tracked customer rates of vibration/ But maker We-Vibe/ Found statutes proscribe/ Such dildo-amassed information./// https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/mar/14/we-vibe-vibrator-tracking-users-sexual-habits An app for remote stimulationTracked customer rates of vibrationBut maker We-VibeFound statutes proscribeSuch dildo-amassed information. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) March … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Cops Face Big Job

Posted on March 8, 2017 by twitmericks

Police in East Dulwich admit/ They have a big job to outwit/ The serial pooer,/ A wanted wrongdoer/  Who roams around having a shit./// http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-hunt-serial-defecator-a3483631.html Police in East Dulwich admitThey have a big job to outwitThe serial pooer,A wanted wrongdoer … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Pants on Fire

Posted on November 25, 2016 by twitmericks

An e-cigarette conflagration/ Erupted at Grand Central Station/ It burst like a rocket/ Inside a man’s pocket -/ At least that was his explanation./// (OK – after seeing the video, I’m not going to doubt this man’s story!) https://www.theguardian.com/society/video/2016/nov/25/e-cigarette-explodes-in-mans-pocket-in-new-york-video https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/801914322070990850

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Taking the Mickey

Posted on November 15, 2016 by twitmericks

A shopper is seeking redress/ From Zara for pain and distress./ The cause of her grouse:/ A fossilised mouse/ Sewn into the hem of her dress./// OK, I know in these extreme times there are more important things to limerick … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment