Monthly Archives: August 2013

Monty Caught Out

Posted on August 8, 2013 by twitmericks

A cricketer went for a slash On bouncers while out on the lash To teach Monty Panesar What proper manners are Cops fined him £60 cash. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-23600037  https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/365388244680056833

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Bloom’s Bloomer

Posted on August 7, 2013 by twitmericks

The mythical land Bongo Bongo/ Was used by an old UKIP drongo/ Discoursing on aid/ But now Bloom’s dismayed/ As UKIP has said it was wrongo. ///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/aug/07/ukip-godfrey-bloom-bongo-bongo-land https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/365093578353033217

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Dr Who the F-?

Posted on August 6, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a Dr named Who  Who tended to turn the air blue. When Mr Capaldi Starts giving ’em laldie* Those daleks won’t know what to do. ///http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2013/aug/05/peter-capaldi-doctor-who-americans-guide https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/364790895167541249 *http://literalbarrage.org/blog/2005/01/15/your-scottish-slang-word-o-the-day-laldie/

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Plonker Plonks Plonker in Plonk

Posted on August 6, 2013 by twitmericks

The member for Redlands, Australia/ Sent photos of his genitalia/ Plonked in red wine/ To his concubine/ A rare feat of true bacchanalia. ////http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/queensland-mp-peter-dowling-steps-down-amid-scandal-over-indecent-images-8748307.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/364767402745016322  

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Fresh Meat

Posted on August 5, 2013 by twitmericks

A burger produced in a lab/ Was judged to be OK, if drab./ It’s OK to eat/ And quite close to meat,/ Like what’s in a doner kebab. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23576143 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/364412660088971265

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Who Runs Iran?

Posted on August 4, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man named Hassan/ Who took over running Iran/ He wants to make friends/ But that all depends/ On whether Hassan’s his own man. ///http://www.aljazeera.com/video/middleeast/2013/08/2013843428202796.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/364011682848186368

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Polls Apart

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

A chap named Mugabe from Zim/Said everyone voted for him/But Tsvangirai reckoned/The old man came second/So now things could get a bit grim. ///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/08/02/uk-zimbabwe-election-idUKBRE9710R020130802 A chap named Mugabe from ZimSaid everyone voted for himBut Tsvangirai reckonedThe old man came secondSo … Continue reading →

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A Member of the Royal Family

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

The BBC said to the Palace/ That airing a shot of a phallus/ On Prince William’s forehead/ Was silly & horrid/ But didn’t intend to show malice. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/bbc-apologises-for-broadcasting-picture-of-prince-william-with-penis-drawn-on-his-head-8742180.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/363221092405477376

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Heigh-ho Silvio

Posted on August 2, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Milan,/ Too old to do time in the can./ Convicted of fraud/ The lecherous bawd/ Awaits a political ban. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23542525 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/363213239489802240

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