Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Biggs V the Pigs

Posted on December 18, 2013 by twitmericks

Old Ronnie Biggs helped rob a train;/ Imprisoned, he got out again./ He then did a bunk/ And sang as a punk/ While Slipper pursued him in vain./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/ronnie-biggs-dead-great-train-robber-dies-aged-84-9012029.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/413259202878910465  

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To Helmand and Back

Posted on December 17, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a UK politician/Who said the Afghanistan mission/Had been a success/In spite of the mess/And ongoing war of attrition./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-25410994 There was a UK politicianWho said the #Afghanistan missionHad been a successIn spite of the messAnd ongoing war of … Continue reading →

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Spurred Off

Posted on December 16, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an old club known as Spurs/ Where all is not well, one infers/ Andre Villas-Boas/ Has just had to go as/ They lost (as too often occurs). ///http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/villas-boas-sacked-45m-goodbye-deal-for-spurs-boss-axed-after-50-home-defeat-to-liverpool-9008223.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/412615424690638848

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Santa’s Grotty

Posted on December 16, 2013 by twitmericks

The Milton Keynes Wonderland Fair/ Had customers all in despair/ The ice rink was plastic/ The Santas all drastic/ & the magical forest was bare./// http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/dec/15/milton-keynes-winter-wonderland-complaints https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/412527000964714496

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Dr – No!

Posted on December 13, 2013 by twitmericks

James Bond was a fictional spy/ Who liked his martinis quite dry/ Now docs say the bastard/ Got utterly plastered,/ At work he was normally high./// http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/270087.php https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/411529850986299392

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Signing Off

Posted on December 12, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a South African fella/ Who signed at a do for Mandela/ The folks who were deaf/ Cried WTF?/ As he flapped his arms like a propeller./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/nelson-mandela/10513487/South-Africa-admits-possible-mistake-over-deaf-signer-at-Mandela-memorial.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/411132269240135680  

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Selfie Abuse

Posted on December 11, 2013 by twitmericks

Remembering Nelson MandelaThe Danish Prime Minister HelleCaused rather a flapBy taking a snapWith Barack and some British fella. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/denmark/10509498/Selfie-diplomacy-Michelle-Obama-looks-unamused-by-Baracks-joking-with-Danish-prime-minister.html Remembering Nelson MandelaThe Danish Prime Minister HelleCaused rather a flapBy taking a snapWith Barack and some British fella. — Mick Twister … Continue reading →

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Taking the Michael

Posted on December 10, 2013 by twitmericks

A poor Princess Michael of Kent/Delivered an anguished lament/No meals at the Ritz/Cheap flights to Biarritz – /Her money all goes on the rent. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/princess-michael-of-kent-i-live-in-austere-times-8992739.html

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Behind Bras

Posted on December 10, 2013 by twitmericks

A dubious outfit in France/ Sold customers dodgy implants/ Which rupture and split/ Inflaming the tit/ The damn things are meant to enhance. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25315627 A dubious outfit in FranceSold customers dodgy implantsWhich rupture and splitInflaming the titThe damn things are … Continue reading →

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Korea Setback

Posted on December 9, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Jang/ Whose nephew was big in Pyongyang/ Until one day Kim/ Got heavy with him/ And booted him out of the gang./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/n-korea-confirms-removal-of-kim-jonguns-depraved-uncle-jang-song-thaek-8992699.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/410159304142893056

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