Category Archives: Uncategorized

The way the Cookie Crumbles

Posted on September 24, 2019 by twitmericks

As tourism firm Thomas Cook/ Leaves low-paid employees in shtook/ Its chiefs see no onus,/ In terms of their bonus,/ On them to give back what they took./// As tourism firm Thomas CookLeaves low-paid employees in shtookIts chiefs see no … Continue reading →

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Friends with benefits

Posted on September 23, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Boris de Pfeffel, as Mayor/ Allegedly failed to declare/ He let the odd penny for/ Brit firms go to Jennifer/ With whom he was in an affair./// On twitter

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Last Harrumph

Posted on September 22, 2019 by twitmericks

John Humphrys, a BBC anchor,/ Retired and then ranted with rancour/ At those who had paid/ The money that made/ Him one very rich right-wing wanker./// On Twitter  John Humphrys, a BBC anchor,Retired and then ranted with rancourAt those who … Continue reading →

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What came over them?

Posted on September 18, 2019 by twitmericks

A yard where bull semen was stowed/ Caught fire and went on to explode;/ The fire crews were dumbstruck,/ As vials of come struck/ By blasts began shooting their load./// A yard where bull semen was stowedCaught fire and went … Continue reading →

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Incredible Sulk

Posted on September 16, 2019 by twitmericks

Perceiving the level of odium,/ Brave Boris abandoned the podium,/ The brown-trousered haste/ With which the man raced/ Suggesting a need for immodium./// On Twitter  

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Gimme Strength!

Posted on September 16, 2019 by twitmericks

The PM declares he is Hulk/ Whose monstrous and infantile sulk/ Will make him grow muscles;/ Officials in Brussels/ Reply “What the actual fulk?”/// On Twitter The PM declares he is HulkWhose monstrous and infantile sulkWill make him grow muscles;Officials … Continue reading →

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Loo-ted

Posted on September 16, 2019 by twitmericks

A house that was ever so old/ Was robbed by some burglars so bold/ Who, flushed with success,/ Now proudly possess/ A lavish lav, fashioned from gold./// A house that was ever so oldWas robbed by some burglars so boldWho, … Continue reading →

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Rewarding failure

Posted on September 14, 2019 by twitmericks

Poor Cameron can’t understand/ Why things didn’t go as he planned,/ But though it’s depressing,/ There is just one blessing – / The book’s earned him 800 grand!/// Poor Cameron can't understandWhy things didn't go as he planned,But though it's … Continue reading →

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Hey Mr Tangerine Man

Posted on September 14, 2019 by twitmericks

The President’s seeking to dump/ Some light bulbs that give the old chump/ An orangey hue/ With which they imbue/ No person on earth except Trump./// The President's seeking to dumpSome light bulbs that give the old chumpAn orangey hueWith … Continue reading →

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Hard worker

Posted on September 12, 2019 by twitmericks

A French firm was ordered to pay/ When one of its staff passed away,/ For Xavier X/ Who died during sex,/ Pegged out on the job, judges say./// My fellow Twitter limericker from France, @GuillaumeCingal, replied to this post with … Continue reading →

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