A turtle in Queensland,/
Australia Resembles a punk, only scalier,/
With bright green Mohican,/
In streams he or she can/
Draw breath using gilled genitalia.///
*The only punk/turtle link that came to mind was this lyric from Christine, by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Shame the colour’s wrong.
The House gave the great Facebook wiz/
A short social media quiz:/
“What’s on your mind, Mark?/
Were you kept in the dark/
About the fact harvesting biz?”///
“Though Feds and DAs are all swarmy”/
Said Trump, “I know what’ll restore me/:
A new operation/
In some Mideast nation -/
‘Op Desert Forget About Stormy'”.///
MP Kemi Badenoch hacked/
A rival, a criminal act/
The Tory vice-chair/
Decided to share;/
If lucky, she’ll only be sacked.///
A hotel has lifted a ban/
Imposed on a Halifax man/
Whose sausage mishap/
Brought seagulls to crap,/
At which point the shit hit the fan.///
Prince Charles says it’s crap and untrue/
That when he has business to do/
And people to meet/
He takes his own seat/
For use on an overseas loo.///
When Tinder saw Manchester City,/
The team at first sight looked quite pretty;/
The two both swiped right,/
But after last night/
The app will just shag out of pity.///
Old Boris the would-be high-flier/
Is known as a frequent supplier/
Of dubious fallacies,/
Forensic analyses/
Revealing his pants are on fire.///
When Inge the hen got a hunch/
She might become somebody’s lunch/
She fled in alarm/
To head for the farm,/
Rejoining the rest of the bunch.///
Egyptian dictator al-Sisi/
Makes democrats feel rather quisi/
The lack of a rival/
Ensures his survival/
And makes reelection quite isi.///
twitmericks 