Love Rats

Posted on September 23, 2016 by twitmericks

A chap won an Ig Nobel Prize/

For pants of a very small size/

He put on male rats/

To show using stats/

How fabrics harm sex life in guys.///

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/22/ig-nobel-prizes-trousers-for-rats-and

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Take a Hike

Posted on September 22, 2016 by twitmericks

A hitch-hiker got a bit miffed/

When noone would give him a lift/

The NZ police/

For breaching the peace/

Have given the Frenchman short shrift.///

 http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11714999
https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/778911879431413760
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Pitt Split

Posted on September 20, 2016 by twitmericks

The couple they called Brangelina/

Departed the public arena/

As Jolie told Pitt/

She wanted a split,/

No doubt after some misdemeanour.///

http://www.tmz.com/2016/09/20/angelina-joile-files-for-divorce-brad-pitt/

 

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Roald Goald

Posted on September 18, 2016 by twitmericks

A popular author named Roald/

Lives on in the stories he toald/

He wrote many books/

Where adults are crooks/

And children are clever and boald.///

http://www.itv.com/news/wales/2016-09-17/roald-dahls-books-brought-to-life-in-cardiff-city-centre/

 

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Ukip Skinny-dip

Posted on September 17, 2016 by twitmericks

A Ukipper stripped off his gear/
To go for a dip off the pier;/
Allegedly Farage/
Showed bare undercarriage/
And flashes of lily-white rear.///

http://www.itv.com/news/2016-09-17/nigel-farage-marks-final-conference-as-ukip-leader-by-going-late-night-skinny-dipping/

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The China Syndrome

Posted on September 15, 2016 by twitmericks

Theresa, at quite a late hour,/

Supported more nuclear power;/

Apparently minor/

Concerns about China/

Resolved by the Tory kowtower.///

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/sep/15/theresa-may-accused-backing-down-hinkley-point-c-deal

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Election Fever

Posted on September 15, 2016 by twitmericks

There was a contender named Hill/

Who started to get a bit ill/

To show her infection/

Won’t stop the election/

She roped in a substitute, Bill.///

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/14/politics/bill-clinton-hillary-clinton-diagnosis-pneumonia-flu/

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Stand Down David

Posted on September 14, 2016 by twitmericks

A formerly prominent Brit/

Announced his intention to quit/

As Witney MP/

And use his degree/

In making things all go to shit.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/david-cameron-step-down-mp-worst-prime-minister-in-living-history-legacy-theresa-may-tony-blair-a7248326.html

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Quick Brown Fox Jumps on Lazy Dogs

Posted on September 10, 2016 by twitmericks

The UK’s top trade diplomat/

Finds Britons too lazy and fat/

To work for prosperity/

(Except Adam Werritty/

With whom Liam once shared a flat.)///

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/sep/10/business-leaders-politicians-attack-fox-over-lazy-accusations

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Don’t get Sherte

Posted on September 8, 2016 by twitmericks

Obama met up with Duterte/

Who told him to stop getting shirty:/

“Don’t be an old bore/

You son of a whore/

Folks love when Rodrigo talks dirty”.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-37303922

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