Good Clean Fun?

As washing machine salesman Jim,/

Keith partied with vigour and vim,/

But not even Daz/

Will rid Mr Vaz/

Of all the dirt clinging to him.///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/married-mp-keith-vaz-tells-8763805

 

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The Living Dead

There was an old man from Tashkent/

Whose death was a drawn-out event/

Officials denied/

Karimov had died/

Long after the autocrat went.///

http://europe.newsweek.com/rumors-president-death-funeral-sweep-uzbekistan-495334?rm=eu

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The Kaiser’s Bill

The Twenty-oh-six World Cup bid/

Cost Germany millions of quid/

Ex-footballer Franz/

Who fixed the finance/

Must now explain just what he did.///

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/sep/01/franz-beckenbauer-criminal-investigation-corruption-allegations-2006-world-cup-bid

 

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Brexit Brainstorm

The Cabinet’s brainstorming Brexit,/

Whose ramifications perplex it./

The vote was to leave,/

But how to achieve/

This outcome continues to vex it.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37219143

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Anthony and the Johnson

Ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner/

Whose selfies got ever obscener/

Hit marital strife/

When Huma, his wife,/

Discovered a fresh misdemeanour.///

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In Deep Doo-doo

A man who climbed into a loo/

Found this was a dumb thing to do/

He got himself trapped/

Where many had crapped/

Thigh-deep in a cauldron of poo.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/norwegian-man-rescued-trapped-inside-toilet-cato-berntsen-larsen-a7212841.html

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Judge Pisses on Bathroom Law

A judge has now told UNC/
It cannot enforce a decree/
Prescribing which cans/
Some folks who are trans/ 
Must use when they go for a pee.///

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News: Limericks Live, Oct 22nd

This month on the north London scene/

A festival hits N19/

Called ArchWay With Words,/

Where limerick nerds/

Can hear a Mick Twister routine.

If you’re in London in October you’ll have the chance to hear me read some limericks and talk about @twitmericks, There was an Old Geezer Called Caesar and the second Mick Twister book, There was an Old Man with Six Wives: A Right Royal History in Limericks, due out early next year.

I’ll be speaking on Saturday October 22 at 3.30pm in Archway Library (right by Archway tube) as part of the Archway With Words festival – full programme here: Archway With Words

Admission is free, and I have no idea whether it’ll be as rampacked as a Virgin train or just me chatting to a few loyal mates and family members who happen to live locally. But the only way to be absolutely sure of getting in would be to book ahead, of course!

 

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Proxi Music

Excited astronomers say/
They know of a planet that may/
Have life – and what’s more/
It’s almost next door,/
Just over four light years away!///

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg23130884-100-proxima-b-closest-earth-like-planet-discovered-right-next-door/

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Costume Drama

A beach-going woman in Nice/
Was fined by the local police/
For brazenly wearing/
A suit that’s not baring,/
Now seen as a breach of the peace.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/24/french-burkini-ban-row-escalates-clothing-incident-woman-police-nice-beach

 

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