It’s a Bust!

Posted on May 16, 2016 by twitmericks

Two officers went chest to chest/

Disputing whose bosom was best/

The big bust-up ended/

With one cop suspended/

And all concerned under a vest.///

Top police officer suspended ‘after row about whose breasts were most attractive’

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Crimea River

Posted on May 15, 2016 by twitmericks

A Tatar who sang for Ukraine/

Recorded a song contest gain./

She won Eurovision/

In spite of derision/

From Russia, which showed its disdain.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-36295168

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/731892899147857920

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The Unsubtler Butler

Posted on May 13, 2016 by twitmericks

Old Donald Trump’s wrinkled retainer/

Outdid the outspoken campaigner/

His posts on Obama,/

Provoking a drama,/

Were plainer, profaner, insaner.///

On Facebook, Trump’s Longtime Butler Calls for Obama to Be Killed

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Happy Limerick Day

Posted on May 12, 2016 by twitmericks

Happy National Limerick Day! In fact, let’s make it World Limerick Day, whoever is in charge of that kind of thing.

It’s also the fifth anniversary of Twitmericks!

I’ve been marking it with a few interviews on the BBC – 5Live, Radio West Midlands and Radio Leeds (some links below).

But here’s one on Edward Lear for his 204th birthday:

A limerick writer named Lear/

Was born on this day of the year./

To write nonsense rhymes/

Was not in his times/

Considered a proper career.///

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Orf With His Head

Posted on May 11, 2016 by twitmericks

Elizabeth, HM the Queen/

Was overheard venting her spleen- /

That envoy from China/

Said Lizzy Regina/

Is ruder than any one’s seen.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36263685
https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/730515180635996160
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Taking Exception

Posted on May 10, 2016 by twitmericks

The Trump said Sadiq is OK/
To enter the US of A/
As non-Muslims do,/
But Khan said screw you -/ 
I hope you get trounced, by the way!///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-36256087

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Minister Learns Lesson

Posted on May 7, 2016 by twitmericks

A minister writing new rules/

Concerning the running of schools/

Admits: “It was mad o’ me/

Forcing academy/

Status on all – we were fools!”///

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2016/may/06/government-backs-down-over-plan-to-make-all-schools-academies

 

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Scary Tories

Posted on May 6, 2016 by twitmericks

In London’s election for mayor/

The Tory campaign said Beware/

The Muslim from Tooting/

But voters were rooting/

For Sadiq, rejecting the scare.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2016-36232392

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Boatface Volte-face

Posted on May 6, 2016 by twitmericks

The government flatly rejected/

A candidate fairly elected,/

Ignoring the vote base/

For Boaty McBoatface,/

And leaving us all disaffected.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/boaty-mcboatface-rejected-as-name-of-new-200m-polar-research-ship-a7016136.html

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Cruz Gets the Blues

Posted on May 4, 2016 by twitmericks

There was a contender named Cruz/
Of right-wing Republican views./
Outplayed on the stump/
By Donald J Trump/
He quit when he saw he would lose.///

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/05/03/politics/ted-cruz-drops-out/

 

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