Penis Extension

Posted on May 27, 2016 by twitmericks

There was a young man from Bangkok
Who had an unfortunate shock
For as the poor chap
Was having a crap
A python latched onto his cock.///

https://www.buzzfeed.com/leticiamiranda/snake-bite?utm_term=.gaLVM8R5#.seYQBKk4

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Sheep on Grass

Posted on May 26, 2016 by twitmericks

In Swansea a woolly stampede/

Was blamed on unsuitable feed/

The sheep that were crazed/

Reportedly grazed/

On fly-tipped remains of some weed.///

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Concerns-psychotic-sheep-rampaging-Swansea/story-29314245-detail/story.html

 

 

 

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Car Wash Gets Dirty

Posted on May 24, 2016 by twitmericks

A minister bugged in Brazil/

Affirmed the impeachment of Dil/

Was meant to impede/

Attempts to proceed/

Against those with hands in the till.///

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Toodle-oo Louis

Posted on May 23, 2016 by twitmericks

A fellow named Louis van Gaal/
Was sacked amid plunging morale/
His Man U regime/
Producing a team/
Whose football was seen as banal.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35161761

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Load Spilled

Posted on May 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A truck on a Moscow main road/

In which many dildos were stowed/

Shot off at great speed,/

Spectators agreed,/

& burst open, spilling its load.///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/sex-toys-bring-moscow-standstill-8016169

 

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There Was an Old Geezer E-Reader

Posted on May 20, 2016 by twitmericks

For anyone after my book/

On tablet or Kindle or Nook/

I have some good news/

It’s there to peruse/

At this link below, take a look.///

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Troil Judgment

Posted on May 19, 2016 by twitmericks

A court has upheld an injunction/

On media lacking compunction/

Preventing reporting/

Of claims of cavorting/

Involving a threesome and unction.///

http://www.theguardian.com/law/2016/may/19/supreme-court-upholds-celebrity-threesome-injunction

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3598396/Married-star-threesome-couple-gets-identity-SECRET.html

 

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No Sex Please I’m Texting

Posted on May 19, 2016 by twitmericks

A Saudi whose bride made him vexed/

Divorced her as too undersexed./

Alone in their room,/

Ignoring the groom,/

She said she had people to text.///

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-bride-divorced-minutes-after-marriage-ceremony-1.1829174

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Going Bananas

Posted on May 18, 2016 by twitmericks

The Hitler stuff led to a hunch/

That Boris was quite out to lunch/

And losing his mojo -/

Banana-wise BoJo/

Seems one or two short of a bunch.///

https://www.politicshome.com/news/europe/eu-policy-agenda/brexit/news/75112/boris-johnson-goes-bananas-bizarre-fruit-claim

 
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Food Fight

Posted on May 17, 2016 by twitmericks

The BBC once undertook/

To help people learn how to cook/

But recipes gone/

May still linger on/

As long as you know where to look.///

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/media/2016/05/bbc-food-s-recipes-wont-disappear-and-you-ll-still-be-able-cook-along-nigella

 

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