Looking into the abyss

Posted on April 11, 2019 by twitmericks

What seemed an impossible goal/

Was reached, as what looked like a coal/

Encircled by flames/

Gave substance to claims/

That Einstein was right, on the hole.///

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IB trouble

Posted on April 10, 2019 by twitmericks

On checking a young Taiwanese,/

Who felt something borne on the breeze/

Was making her cry,/

Docs found in her eye/

Four minuscule sweat-eating bees.///

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Leave to remain

Posted on April 8, 2019 by twitmericks

Ex-Brexiteer columnist Peter/

Thought leaving would render life sweeter,/

But now he reflexit/

Is evident Brexit/

Would leave us knee-deep in excreta.///

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This is real good shit, man!

Posted on April 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Some Spanish researchers submit/

That though it may give you a hit,/

Because hashish passes/

Through drug smugglers’ arses*/

Most tokers smoke actual shit./

 

*or asses if that rhymes better for you

 

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It never rains but it pours

Posted on April 4, 2019 by twitmericks

MPs were sent home for the week/

When liquid poured in from a leak,/

Which leaves the impression/

They’re ending this session/

In literal terms, up shit creek.///

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Ayes to the right

Posted on April 1, 2019 by twitmericks

Some activist women and guys/

Took parliament quite by surprise,/

Protesting half-nude,/

A brief interlewd/

That caused a few members to rise.///

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Ex farte injunction

Posted on March 30, 2019 by twitmericks

A court found no legal protection/

If someone at work’s predilection/

Is rudely to place/

His rear in your face/

And fart in your general direction.///

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Shit choices

Posted on March 28, 2019 by twitmericks

When members were polled in the end/

On which polished turd they’d commend,/

Indicative voting/

Left no motion floating,/

They all disappeared round the bend.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/mar/27/mps-reject-all-alternative-brexit-options

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Safe space for men

Posted on March 26, 2019 by twitmericks

Officials at NASA have canned/

An all-female spacewalk they’d planned;/

As spacesuits for guys/

Are not the right size,/

The mission will have to be manned.///

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Members rise up

Posted on March 26, 2019 by twitmericks

MPs have been airing their views,/

And say it’s now their turn to choose/

What Britain should do/

About the EU,/

Instead of just watching May lose.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47701591

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