Paying a deer price

Posted on December 18, 2018 by twitmericks

A poacher arraigned to appear/

Was sentenced to jail for a year/

And must, for his crimes,/

Watch Bambi twelve times,/

To put him off killing more deer.///

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Foxy socks

Posted on December 17, 2018 by twitmericks

A man with a strange predilection/
Contracted a fungal infection/
From sniffing his socks;/
To get off your rocks/
Like this requires nasal protection.///

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Taking the mick

Posted on December 16, 2018 by twitmericks

A fellow of insight named Mick/

Is POTUS’s Chief of Staff pick/

Despite his reflection/

Before the election/

That Trump is an absolute dick.///

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Gohen down

Posted on December 15, 2018 by twitmericks

“I paid the hush money”, said Cohen,/

“With Donald, my client’s full knohen”;/

So if it’s a crime,/

Who else should do time?/

The pressure on Trump keeps on grohen.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/dec/14/donald-trump-knew-hush-money-was-wrong-says-cohen

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Crimes against rhymes

Posted on December 14, 2018 by twitmericks

The New York Times asked Londoners for their experience of petty crime, and got, it must be said, some not entirely serious responses – story below:

Here’s my contribution – for those fortunate enough not to have heard it, the announcement in question, intended to encourage us to report suspected terrorists, exhorts us to: “See it, Say it – Sorted”.

Dear caring, concerned New York Times,/

The tube is a hotbed of crimes:/

That jingle with “sorted”?/

I want it reported/

For culpable absence of rhymes.///

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/dec/13/londoners-troll-new-york-times-petty-crimes

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Ranter Claus

Posted on December 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Dear Santa, all jolly and stout/

Got angry and started to shout;/

As children appeared,/

He ripped off his beard/

And hollered: “Just get the fuck out!”///

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Chocs away!

Posted on December 12, 2018 by twitmericks

A leak at a plant making chocs/

Saw more than a tonne of its stocks/

Pour into the street/

Beneath people’s feet -/

A sweet opportunity knocks.///

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May poll dance

Posted on December 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Conservative backing for May/

Masks problems that won’t go away;/

Finessing the backstop/

Will not make the flak stop -/

She lives to die some other day.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46547246

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Party like it’s 1922

Posted on December 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Sir Graham has 48 letters/

From applecart would-be-upsetters/

Desiring May’s exit,/

So let’s suspend Brexit/

While Tories resolve their vendettas.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/dec/12/brexit-chaos-conservative-mps-trigger-vote-of-no-confidence-theresa-may

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Off the wall

Posted on December 11, 2018 by twitmericks

When Trump met Pelosi and Schumer,/

It put him in rather bad humour./

On hearing his wall/

Had no chance at all,/

He turned a deep shade of satsuma.///

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