Monthly Archives: November 2017

Trouser Snake

Posted on November 9, 2017 by twitmericks

Police found two drunken carousers/ Were covert reptilian-housers,/ A visible writhin’/ Betraying a python/ Secreted down one fellow’s trousers./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/08/germany-detained-man-darmstadt-baby-python-pants Police found two drunken carousersWere covert reptilian-housers,A visible writhin'Betraying a pythonSecreted down one fellow's trousers. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November … Continue reading →

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Priti Vacancy in Cabinet

Posted on November 8, 2017 by twitmericks

Ex-minister Priti Patel/ Was getting on ever so well/ Till May called her back/ To give her the sack -/ As fast as she’d risen, she fell./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41923007 Ex-minister #PritiPatel Was getting on ever so wellTill May called her backTo … Continue reading →

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Knowing Me, Knowing Ewe

Posted on November 8, 2017 by twitmericks

Some ruminant creatures can tell/ Us humans apart very well;/ Apparently sheep’ll/ Identify people/ While we bleat: ‘her face rings a bell’./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-41905652 Some ruminant creatures can tellUs humans apart very well;Apparently sheep'llIdentify peopleWhile we bleat: 'her face rings a … Continue reading →

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Prolix Bollix

Posted on November 8, 2017 by twitmericks

As of today, all Twitter users can have up to 280 characters instead of 140. The first limerick was written with the old limit, the second makes use of the new limit. OLD A 140-character tweet/ Is brief, to the … Continue reading →

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Bungling Boris

Posted on November 7, 2017 by twitmericks

A woman in jail in Iran/ Risks even more time in the can/ Because of the work/ Of Boris the jerk,/ A deeply incompetent man./// https://www.ft.com/content/24b3a740-c307-11e7-b2bb-322b2cb39656 A woman in jail in IranRisks even more time in the canBecause of the … Continue reading →

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Priti Vacant

Posted on November 7, 2017 by twitmericks

A minister off on a mission/ Met Israel’s top politician/ But Priti Patel/ Neglected to tell/ Her bosses, a foolish omission./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41890436 A minister off on a missionMet Israel's top politicianBut Priti PatelNeglected to tellHer bosses, a foolish omission.#priti #Patel … Continue reading →

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Finger-flipper Fired

Posted on November 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A woman out riding a bike/ Saw Trump, whom she didn’t much like/ So flipped him the bird;/ Alas her boss heard,/ And told her to go take a hike./// https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/06/woman-trump-middle-finger-fired-juli-briskman A woman out riding a bikeSaw Trump, whom she … Continue reading →

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Marrow Escape

Posted on November 3, 2017 by twitmericks

A German man reckoned he saw/ A bomb from the 2nd World War;/ Told: “That’s a courgette”,/ He said: “It could get/ Combustible if consumed raw”./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41857694 A German man reckoned he sawA bomb from the 2nd World War;Told: "That's … Continue reading →

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Fallon on his Sword

Posted on November 2, 2017 by twitmericks

A senior minister quit/ Who’s named on the spreadsheet of shit,/ A record of sleaze/ By Tory MPs/ That’s got quite a few of them frit./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/01/michael-fallon-quits-as-defence-secretary A senior minister quitWho's named on the spreadsheet of shit,A record of sleazeBy … Continue reading →

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Sweary Dalek

Posted on November 1, 2017 by twitmericks

A Dalek with attitude slated/ The magazine bosses he hated/ By hidden acrostic/ In language most caustic/ For which he was ex-terminated./// http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/doctor-who-magazine-writer-fired-bbc-worldwide_uk_59f9c16ae4b00c6145e2e410 A Dalek with attitude slatedThe magazine bosses he hatedBy hidden acrosticIn language most causticFor which he was … Continue reading →

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