Monthly Archives: September 2018

Beat the Meatles*

Posted on September 13, 2018 by twitmericks

The Beatles were birds of a feather,/ And long before Linda or Heather,/ With help from their friends,/ McCartney contends/ That he and John did Come Together.//// *Headline shamelessly nicked from the New York Post, of all places. The Beatles … Continue reading →

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Court Challenge

Posted on September 11, 2018 by twitmericks

Ms Williams feels umpires are keener/ To punish a girl’s misdemeanour,/ While stars who are boys/ Can kick up a noise,/ A woman must act much Serena./// Ms Williams feels umpires are keenerTo punish a girl's misdemeanour,While stars who are … Continue reading →

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Trevor no-mates

Posted on September 10, 2018 by twitmericks

A mallard who’s down on his luck/ Flew off to Niue and got stuck,/ Alone in his puddle/ With no one to cuddle/ Or act out the phrase “fuck a duck!”/// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1039169051338199041

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A thing of Budey

Posted on September 9, 2018 by twitmericks

All Cornwall-based tours should include/ The glowingly, widely reviewed/ World-famous, fantastic,/ Great tunnel of plastic/ In Sainsbury’s car park in Bude./// All Cornwall-based tours should include The glowingly, widely reviewedWorld-famous, fantastic,Great tunnel of plasticIn Sainsbury's car park in Bude.https://t.co/8d1iJonfpo#Bude — … Continue reading →

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Tesla profits up in smoke

Posted on September 8, 2018 by twitmericks

When Musk saw a joint being lit/ He took a few puffs of that shit,/ But Elon the joker/ Was not the sole toker -/ His company too took a hit./// When Musk saw a joint being litHe took a … Continue reading →

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Bradley Informed

Posted on September 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A minister named Karen Bradley,/ Whose brief’s Northern Ireland,/ sadly Has had to admit/ To knowing jack shit/ About it, which went down quite badly./// A minister named Karen Bradley,Whose brief's Northern Ireland, sadlyHas had to admitTo knowing jack shitAbout … Continue reading →

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Private Dick

Posted on September 6, 2018 by twitmericks

A spy from Korea, Black Venus,/ Enacted a plan most ingenious/ To tape Kim Jong-Il,/ Concealing with skill/ A dictaphone inside his penis./// I don’t suppose the recording device was that actual brand, but I couldn’t resist the word under … Continue reading →

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Pole-axed

Posted on September 5, 2018 by twitmericks

A nursery head lost her role/ When parents did not find it droll/ For children to start in/ Their new kindergarten/ While dancers gyrate on a pole./// A nursery head lost her roleWhen parents did not find it drollFor children … Continue reading →

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West wingnut

Posted on September 5, 2018 by twitmericks

The veteran journalist Bob/ From talking to Donald Trump’s mob,/ Found less stable genius,/ More misdemeanious/ Unstable dumbass nutjob./// Some readers may be thrown by the scansion in line 5, which appears to be a syllable short when taken on … Continue reading →

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Nike takes the knee

Posted on September 4, 2018 by twitmericks

The Kaepernick advert for Nike/ Has got right-wing critics all spiky;/ They’re torching their shoes/ And lighting a fuse/ Right under Trump’s volatile psyche./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/american-football/45407340 The Kaepernick advert for NikeHas got right-wing critics all spiky;They're torching their shoes And lighting … Continue reading →

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