Monthly Archives: October 2019

Testing Conditions

Posted on October 21, 2019 by twitmericks

When pupils are sitting their mocks/ An Indian school says to fox/ Those tempted to cheat/ It helps to secrete/ The head of each one in a box./// https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/10/21/india/india-student-box-cheating-intl-hnk-scli/index.html?__twitter_impression=true When pupils are sitting their mocksAn Indian school says to foxThose … Continue reading →

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Signature Ploy

Posted on October 20, 2019 by twitmericks

“Dear Donald, I think you will find/ The letter attached is not signed,/ So ha ha – not really!/ Yours Boris, sincerely”./ “Dear Boris, that counts – we don’t mind”./// "Dear Donald, I think you will findThe letter attached is … Continue reading →

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Johnson Waives his Rules

Posted on October 18, 2019 by twitmericks

“No checks in the sea”, Johnson cried,/ To get DUP-ers onside./ Alas, to their shock,/ His pledge was a crock -/ A man known for lying had lied!/// "No checks in the sea", Johnson cried,To get DUP-ers onside.Alas, to their … Continue reading →

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The Case for the Proseccution

Posted on October 17, 2019 by twitmericks

The regional chief’s declared war/ Against what Italians abhor -/ He’ll see not one single/ Prosecco-based Pringle/ Displayed in a Veneto store./// The regional chief's declared warAgainst what Italians abhor –He'll see not one singleProsecco-based PringleDisplayed in a Veneto store.#prosecco … Continue reading →

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It’s The Way You Vellum

Posted on October 15, 2019 by twitmericks

When Queens read proposals on vellum/ They say what prime ministers tellum,/ But whether on goatskin/ Or Boris’s scroteskin,/ His bills are so rank you can smellum./// When Queens read proposals on vellumThey say what prime ministers tellum,But whether on … Continue reading →

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Road Runner

Posted on October 13, 2019 by twitmericks

Kipchoge the marathon man/ Went off to Vienna and ran/ With pace and persistence/ To cover the distance/ More quickly than anyone can./// Kipchoge the marathon manWent off to Vienna and ranWith pace and persistenceTo cover the distanceMore quickly than … Continue reading →

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Trump Dumps Kurds

Posted on October 12, 2019 by twitmericks

The Turkish assault on the Kurds/ Elicits from Trump empty words,/ Some meaningless platitudes/ Masking true attitudes,/ Rhetoric just for the birds./// The Turkish assault on the KurdsElicits from Trump empty words,Meaningless platitudesMasking true attitudes,Rhetoric just for the birds.#SyrianKurds #Kurds#KurdsBetrayedByTrump#trump … Continue reading →

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Lavatorial language

Posted on October 10, 2019 by twitmericks

Recently, more and more people on Twitter have been translating my limericks, especially into French and German. So when the bog paper shortage went Dutch as well, I put out an appeal to the hive mind to see how many … Continue reading →

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Losing the WAG

Posted on October 10, 2019 by twitmericks

Coleen said the case had been cracked -/ Rebekah was caught in the act./ This angered Becks Vardy,/ Who got a bit mardy,/ Insisting her Insta was hacked.  ///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1182221953874223106 Coleen said the case had been cracked –Rebekah was caught in … Continue reading →

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Brexshit Gets Real

Posted on October 9, 2019 by twitmericks

As Brexit descends into farce/ Our bog paper stocks will get sparse,/ But when there is none/ The Mail and the Sun/ Are handy for wiping one’s arse. /// As Brexit descends into farceOur bog paper stocks will get sparse,But when … Continue reading →

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