Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Sperm Bank Welcomes All Comers

Posted on June 25, 2015 by twitmericks

This one is not linked to a current news story, but inspired by a feature programme I heard on the BBC (link below). The combination of story and location proved irresistible. A big UK sperm bank in Birmingham/ Has many … Continue reading →

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Secrets and Spies

Posted on June 24, 2015 by twitmericks

Obama is firmly denying/ That agencies might still be spying/ On leaders of France./ There could be a chance/ That somebody somewhere is lying./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/obama-calls-hollande-nsa-no-longer-spying-french-president Obama is firmly denyingThat agencies might still be spyingOn leaders of France.There could be a … Continue reading →

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Napoleon’s Bone Apart

Posted on June 20, 2015 by twitmericks

A medic examining Bonaparte/ It’s said took Napoleon’s bone apart/ Altho it seems wrong/ Removing his dong/ A stiff has no use for a boner part./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/waterloo-200-years-on-and-the-strange-journey-of-napoleons-penis-10333605.html A medic examining BonaparteIt's said took Napoleon's bone apartAltho it seems wrongRemoving his … Continue reading →

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Grexit Strategy

Posted on June 19, 2015 by twitmericks

Alexis, a prominent Greek/ Said frankly we’re right up the creek/ We’ve no more to slash/ The bank has no cash/ I need a few bil till next week./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-33195732 Alexis, a prominent GreekSaid frankly we're right up the creekWe've … Continue reading →

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Sweary Mayor

Posted on June 18, 2015 by twitmericks

Old Boris the mop-headed mayor/ Found cabbies provoked him to swear/ Just fuck off and die/ He said to a guy/ And not in that order – so there!/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33178055 Old Boris the mop-headed mayorFound cabbies provoked him to swearJust … Continue reading →

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Storm in a Nutella Jar

Posted on June 17, 2015 by twitmericks

Ms Royal’s attack on Nutella/ Annoyed an Italian feller./ Who cares if it’s green,/ Hands off our cuisine!/ Galletti was prompted to tell ‘er./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/17/nutella-italian-minister-demands-apology-from-segolene-royal?CMP=share_btn_tw Ms Royal's attack on NutellaAnnoyed an Italian feller.Who cares if it's green,Hands off our cuisine!Galletti … Continue reading →

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Rich Pitch

Posted on June 17, 2015 by twitmericks

The toupeed tycoon Donald Trump Has outlined his pitch on the stump: I’m a billionaire From my platinum hair Right down to my gold-plated rump. ///http://www.wsj.com/video/highlights-from-donald-trump-campaign-announcement/FFA6C054-D049-4BDA-AA5B-A73E63C593F0.html The toupeed tycoon Donald TrumpWho plans to go out on the stumpIs a billionaireFrom … Continue reading →

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Chocs Away!

Posted on June 16, 2015 by twitmericks

Researchers in Aberdeen say/ A small bar of chocolate a day/ Is good for your heart/ And may play a part/ In keeping the doctor away./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33145215 Researchers in Aberdeen sayA small bar of #chocolate a dayIs good for your … Continue reading →

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Khartoum Caper

Posted on June 15, 2015 by twitmericks

There is an old man from Sudan/ Whose summit’s not going to plan/ A judge will decide/ If he should be tried/ As ICC shit hits the fan./// http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/06/court-orders-sudan-bashir-remain-south-africa-150614142140266.html There is an old man from SudanWhose summit's not going to … Continue reading →

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Lander Ahoy!

Posted on June 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A lander asleep on a comet/ Like something from Wallace and Gromit/ Has now reawoken/ And finally spoken/ So data may soon be got from it./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-33126885 A lander asleep on a cometLike something from Wallace and GromitHas now reawoken& … Continue reading →

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