Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Back, Sack and Crack

Posted on November 1, 2013 by twitmericks

The Mayor of Toronto fought back/ Denying he ever smoked crack/ But now there’s a vid/ Suggesting he did/ He may soon be facing the sack./// http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/31/toronto-mayor-rob-ford-police-investigation_n_4181704.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/396226289847111680

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

News of the Screws

Posted on October 31, 2013 by twitmericks

A newspaper boss with red hair/ Who liked seeing scandals laid bare/ And her deputy ed/ Were sharing a bed/ In a Hacks in Sack Shackup Affair. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24762474 A newspaper boss with red hairWho liked seeing scandals laid bareAnd her … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

No Jam Tomorrow?

Posted on October 31, 2013 by twitmericks

The Lib Dem MP Tessa Munt/Thinks low-sugar jam an affront/She harbours a grudge/Against foreign ‘sludge’/On which she’s surprisingly blunt./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24738171 The Lib Dem MP Tessa MuntThinks low-sugar jam an affrontShe harbours a grudgeAgainst foreign 'sludge'On which she's surprisingly blunt. — … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Putting the Pee in PC

Posted on October 30, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a make of PC/ Whose odour evoked feline pee/ Perhaps this foul smell/ On laptops from Dell/ Was made by the forward slash key./// http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/oct/30/dell-laptop-cat-pee-urine-smell-latitude-e6430u https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/395631307595595776

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Baby One More Time? Please God No!

Posted on October 29, 2013 by twitmericks

Somalia’s fierce buccaneers/ Have terribly sensitive ears – / To drive them away/ Ships’ officers play/ The music of Ms @britneyspears. /// http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/27/britney-spears-songs-used-to-scare-off-pirates-in-somalia-4163217/ https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/395142684173541377

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hey Jude, Don’t Make it Bad

Posted on October 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a big storm named St Jude/ Whose power could not be subdued/ It upended trees/ And buses with ease/ And left many travel plans screwed. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24699748 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/394872438510465024 And if you like these limericks, don’t forget to buy the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Toodle-Lou

Posted on October 27, 2013 by twitmericks

So RIP music man Lou/ Your walk on the wild side is thru/ Your satellite’s gone/ Your Perfect Day done/ But we’re glad we spent it with you. ///http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/lou-reed-velvet-underground-leader-and-rock-pioneer-dead-at-71-20131027 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/394547207648460800

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Crap Shoot

Posted on October 25, 2013 by twitmericks

A fellow in Norway was shot/ While having a sit on the pot./ A man hunting moose/ Took aim and let loose,/ But twas the poor crapper he got. ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/24/norwegian-hunter-misses-moose-shoots-man-toilet A fellow in Norway was shotWhile having a sit on … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Dirty Buggers

Posted on October 24, 2013 by twitmericks

The NSA tapped Merkel’s cell So she gave the White House a bell. Don’t make a big drama Said Barack Obama  We all know you’re at it as well!   ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24651975 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/393366564273008642   http://www.anovabooks.com/there-was-an-old-geezer-called-caesar

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bishop Bashed

Posted on October 23, 2013 by twitmericks

Franz-Peter, the Bishop of Bling/ Whose bathroom was fit for a king/ Offended the Pope/ And now has to hope/ For pardon, while kissing the ring. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24638430 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/393073178332770304

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment