Category Archives: Uncategorized

Pain in Spain

Posted on August 14, 2018 by twitmericks

A Brit tourist wrote to complain/ Her Benidorm break was a pain/ Because the hotel/ Was made living hell/ By too many people from Spain./// A Brit tourist wrote to complainHer Benidorm break was a painBecause the hotelWas made living … Continue reading →

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Rampant rodent

Posted on August 11, 2018 by twitmericks

A juvenile squirrel wrongdoer/ Was captured by cops in Karlsruhe/ Who rescued a man/ In terror who ran/ Away from his furry pursuer./// A juvenile squirrel wrongdoerWas captured by cops in KarlsruheWho rescued a manIn terror who ranAway from his … Continue reading →

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Airport Abuzz

Posted on August 11, 2018 by twitmericks

The luggage for one man’s vacation/ Caused problems for air transportation/ When scan operators/ Picked up his vibrators,/ Resulting in mass perturbation./// The luggage for one man's vacationCaused problems for air transportationWhen scan operatorsPicked up his vibrators,Resulting in mass perturbation.https://t.co/LIcTEwDMYM … Continue reading →

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Cheesy Crime

Posted on August 9, 2018 by twitmericks

A thief who was sentenced to fester/ Made one mistake, said his arrester:/ What gave him away/ Was some DNA/ He left on a lump of red Leicester./// A thief who was sentenced to festerMade one mistake, said his arrester:What … Continue reading →

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Bojo’s Fashion Tips

Posted on August 7, 2018 by twitmericks

Though dog-whistle Boris now rails/ Against public wearing of veils/ By some Muslim women,/ From what we’ve seen him in,/ I’d focus on fashion for males./// Though dog-whistle Boris now rails Against public wearing of veilsBy some Muslim women,From what … Continue reading →

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Right to Bear Alms

Posted on August 5, 2018 by twitmericks

Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,/ Those well-armed political players/ Who love all things gunny/ Are clean out of money/ So shoot them a few #ThoughtsAndPrayers./// Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,Those well-armed political playersWho love all things gunnyAre clean out of … Continue reading →

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Jail Fail

Posted on August 4, 2018 by twitmericks

A racist imprisoned in May/ Is lying about his brief stay;/ The mendacious fucker/ Told credulous Tucker/ It’s just like Guantanamo Bay./// A racist imprisoned in MayIs lying about his brief stay;The mendacious fuckerTold credulous TuckerIt's just like Guantanamo Bay.https://t.co/O99GFyyuNp … Continue reading →

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Unpresidented Vote

Posted on August 3, 2018 by twitmericks

They say Mnangagwa in Zim/ Came top by a margin quite slim,/ But Nelson Chamisa,/ The MDC geezer,/ Insists that the winner is him./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-45055223 They say Mnangagwa in Zim Came top by a margin quite slim,But Nelson Chamisa,The MDC … Continue reading →

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Titter Ye

Posted on August 1, 2018 by twitmericks

The limericks you see here all started life on Twitter – love it or hate it. Here’s my response to today’s hashtag – #WhyIJoinedTwitter.   I had some spare time I could fritter/ Attempting to make people titter,/ Reporting our times/ … Continue reading →

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Having a Whale of a Time

Posted on July 31, 2018 by twitmericks

A hybrid between two cetaceans/ With misleading classifications/ Shows females and males/ Of dolphins-cum-whales/ Enjoy inter-species relations./// A hybrid between two cetaceansWith misleading classificationsShows females and malesOf dolphins-cum-whalesEnjoy inter-species relations.https://t.co/dKR1IjQkJY — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) July 31, 2018

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