Jacob’s Madder

Posted on August 27, 2018 by twitmericks

The Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg,/

A would-be right-wing demagogue,/

Declares predilections/

For border inspections/

That leave most observers agog.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Pullout Threatens Sperm

Posted on August 24, 2018 by twitmericks

A hard Brexit impact report/
On stuff we routinely import/
Includes Danish sperm/
Which studies confirm/
Withdrawal may cause to fall short.///

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Red or Dead

Posted on August 23, 2018 by twitmericks

In fundraising Labour’s ahead,/
Securing a whole heap of bread/
From those who are living,/
While most donors giving/
Conservatives money are dead.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Briefs in a Twist

Posted on August 22, 2018 by twitmericks

A man representing as brief/

A future Commander-in-chief/

Broke rules on elections,/

But on whose directions?/

The candidate’s – Hail to the Thief!///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Brexiteer’s Bumpy Landing

Posted on August 21, 2018 by twitmericks

A Tory jumped out of a plane/

And pulled at the toggle in vain -/

Though Brexiteer Steve/

Implored it to leave/

His parachute chose to remain.///

Look, he survived, OK? I’m not that callous!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Jail Fail

Posted on August 21, 2018 by twitmericks

A privately-run UK jail/

Was deemed a complete epic fail,/

The prison in Birmingham/

It seems is confirming ’em/

Unsuitable assets for sale.///

Slightly tweaked the third and fourth lines from the Twitter version to aid clarity. But perhaps the last line misfires a bit anyway. Privatised prisons aren’t sold as such, I guess, just their management is contracted out.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Cheddars of the Lost Ark

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

An ancient Egyptian hard cheese/
Was found in the tomb of Ptahmes,/
But though there’s allure/
To cheese so mature,/
Be warned, it may carry disease.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Spaghetti Injunction*

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

A judge in the Netherlands said/
A colander worn on the head/
To worship spaghetti/
Is silly and petty -/
The Lord’s not in pasta, but bread!///

*headline nicked from the Guardian

As I’m sure you’ve all clocked, the last line is intended to contrast the doctrines of  the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster with the rival carb-worship of some Christian sects which believe bread becomes the body of Christ. A bit truncated perhaps, but try summing up transubstantiation in eight syllables!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Last Respects

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/

A true R&B VIP,/

So let’s give Aretha,/

Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T.///

I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being apparently the only available rhyme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-45215309

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Stream of Complaints

Posted on August 16, 2018 by twitmericks

Some people in Paris are dissing/

Urinals erected for pissing/

For while any beau/

Can geau with the fleau,/

For belles, something similar’s missing.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment