Last Respects

Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/

A true R&B VIP,/

So let’s give Aretha,/

Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T.///

I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being apparently the only available rhyme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-45215309

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Stream of Complaints

Some people in Paris are dissing/

Urinals erected for pissing/

For while any beau/

Can geau with the fleau,/

For belles, something similar’s missing.///

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Norwegian Blue Language

A parrot that’s able to speak/

Three languages opened its beak/

And cursed a fire crew/

In language most blue/

And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek.///

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Pain in Spain

A Brit tourist wrote to complain/

Her Benidorm break was a pain/

Because the hotel/

Was made living hell/

By too many people from Spain.///

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Rampant rodent

A juvenile squirrel wrongdoer/

Was captured by cops in Karlsruhe/

Who rescued a man/

In terror who ran/

Away from his furry pursuer.///

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Airport Abuzz

The luggage for one man’s vacation/

Caused problems for air transportation/

When scan operators/

Picked up his vibrators,/

Resulting in mass perturbation.///

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Cheesy Crime

A thief who was sentenced to fester/

Made one mistake, said his arrester:/

What gave him away/

Was some DNA/

He left on a lump of red Leicester.///

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Bojo’s Fashion Tips

Though dog-whistle Boris now rails/

Against public wearing of veils/

By some Muslim women,/

From what we’ve seen him in,/

I’d focus on fashion for males.///

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Right to Bear Alms

Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,/

Those well-armed political players/

Who love all things gunny/

Are clean out of money/

So shoot them a few .///

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Jail Fail

A racist imprisoned in May/
Is lying about his brief stay;/
The mendacious fucker/
Told credulous Tucker/
It’s just like Guantanamo Bay.///

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