Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/
A true R&B VIP,/
So let’s give Aretha,/
Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T.///
I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being apparently the only available rhyme.
Some people in Paris are dissing/
Urinals erected for pissing/
For while any beau/
Can geau with the fleau,/
For belles, something similar’s missing.///
A parrot that’s able to speak/
Three languages opened its beak/
And cursed a fire crew/
In language most blue/
And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek.///
A Brit tourist wrote to complain/
Her Benidorm break was a pain/
Because the hotel/
Was made living hell/
By too many people from Spain.///
A juvenile squirrel wrongdoer/
Was captured by cops in Karlsruhe/
Who rescued a man/
In terror who ran/
Away from his furry pursuer.///
The luggage for one man’s vacation/
Caused problems for air transportation/
When scan operators/
Picked up his vibrators,/
Resulting in mass perturbation.///
A thief who was sentenced to fester/
Made one mistake, said his arrester:/
What gave him away/
Was some DNA/
He left on a lump of red Leicester.///
Though dog-whistle Boris now rails/
Against public wearing of veils/
By some Muslim women,/
From what we’ve seen him in,/
I’d focus on fashion for males.///
Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,/
Those well-armed political players/
Who love all things gunny/
Are clean out of money/
So shoot them a few #ThoughtsAndPrayers.///
A racist imprisoned in May/
Is lying about his brief stay;/
The mendacious fucker/
Told credulous Tucker/
It’s just like Guantanamo Bay.///
