Ex-minister Priti Patel/
Was getting on ever so well/
Till May called her back/
To give her the sack -/
As fast as she’d risen, she fell.///
Ex-minister Priti Patel/
Was getting on ever so well/
Till May called her back/
To give her the sack -/
As fast as she’d risen, she fell.///
Some ruminant creatures can tell/
Us humans apart very well;/
Apparently sheep’ll/
Identify people/
While we bleat: ‘her face rings a bell’.///
As of today, all Twitter users can have up to 280 characters instead of 140. The first limerick was written with the old limit, the second makes use of the new limit.
OLD
A 140-character tweet/
Is brief, to the point, short and sweet/
280/
May make them more w80/
But not quite so damnably neat.///
NEW
A one-forty-character tweet/
Is brief, to the point, short and sweet/
Two hundred and eighty/
May make them more weighty/
But not quite so damnably neat.///
A woman in jail in Iran/
Risks even more time in the can/
Because of the work/
Of Boris the jerk,/
A deeply incompetent man.///
https://www.ft.com/content/24b3a740-c307-11e7-b2bb-322b2cb39656
A minister off on a mission/
Met Israel’s top politician/
But Priti Patel/
Neglected to tell/
Her bosses, a foolish omission.///
A woman out riding a bike/
Saw Trump, whom she didn’t much like/
So flipped him the bird;/
Alas her boss heard,/
And told her to go take a hike.///
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/06/woman-trump-middle-finger-fired-juli-briskman
A German man reckoned he saw/
A bomb from the 2nd World War;/
Told: “That’s a courgette”,/
He said: “It could get/
Combustible if consumed raw”.///
A senior minister quit/
Who’s named on the spreadsheet of shit,/
A record of sleaze/
By Tory MPs/
That’s got quite a few of them frit.///
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/01/michael-fallon-quits-as-defence-secretary
A Dalek with attitude slated/
The magazine bosses he hated/
By hidden acrostic/
In language most caustic/
For which he was ex-terminated.///