Priti Vacancy in Cabinet

Ex-minister Priti Patel/

Was getting on ever so well/

Till May called her back/

To give her the sack -/

As fast as she’d risen, she fell.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41923007

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Knowing Me, Knowing Ewe

Some ruminant creatures can tell/

Us humans apart very well;/

Apparently sheep’ll/

Identify people/

While we bleat: ‘her face rings a bell’.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-41905652

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Prolix Bollix

As of today, all Twitter users can have up to 280 characters instead of 140. The first limerick was written with the old limit, the second makes use of the new limit.

OLD

A 140-character tweet/

Is brief, to the point, short and sweet/

280/

May make them more w80/

But not quite so damnably neat.///

 

NEW

A one-forty-character tweet/

Is brief, to the point, short and sweet/

Two hundred and eighty/

May make them more weighty/

But not quite so damnably neat.///

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Bungling Boris

A woman in jail in Iran/

Risks even more time in the can/

Because of the work/

Of Boris the jerk,/

A deeply incompetent man.///

https://www.ft.com/content/24b3a740-c307-11e7-b2bb-322b2cb39656

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Priti Vacant

A minister off on a mission/

Met Israel’s top politician/

But Priti Patel/

Neglected to tell/

Her bosses, a foolish omission.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41890436

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Finger-flipper Fired

A woman out riding a bike/
Saw Trump, whom she didn’t much like/
So flipped him the bird;/
Alas her boss heard,/
And told her to go take a hike.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/06/woman-trump-middle-finger-fired-juli-briskman

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Marrow Escape

A German man reckoned he saw/

A bomb from the 2nd World War;/

Told: “That’s a courgette”,/

He said: “It could get/

Combustible if consumed raw”.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41857694

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Fallon on his Sword

A senior minister quit/

Who’s named on the spreadsheet of shit,/

A record of sleaze/

By Tory MPs/

That’s got quite a few of them frit.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/01/michael-fallon-quits-as-defence-secretary

 

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Sweary Dalek

A Dalek with attitude slated/

The magazine bosses he hated/

By hidden acrostic/

In language most caustic/

For which he was ex-terminated.///

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/doctor-who-magazine-writer-fired-bbc-worldwide_uk_59f9c16ae4b00c6145e2e410

 

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If At First You Don’t Secede…

There once was a man from Girona/

A Catalan go-it-aloner/

Who ran off to Brussels/

When Spain flexed its muscles/

And made him a wanted persona.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41819940

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