twitmericks

Massive Cock Up

Posted on November 18, 2017 by twitmericks

The navy expresses its shock/

That one of its pilots, ad hoc,/

Used vapour to draw/

What those below saw/

Was two giant balls and a cock.///

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/locals-left-red-faced-after-navy-pilot-draws-obscene-phallic-sky-art-above-town-1647757

The navy expresses its shock
That one of its pilots, ad hoc,
Used vapour to draw
What those below saw
Was two giant balls and a cock.

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 17, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged penis, phallus, pilot, rude, skywriting, weird | Leave a comment

You Snooze, You Win

Posted on November 16, 2017 by twitmericks

In spite of The Sun’s front-page snaps/

Of BBC staff having naps,/

Awake or asnooze/

Folks trust the Beeb’s nooze/

Above the phone-hackers and paps.///

sun v bbc

In spite of The Sun's front-page snaps
Of BBC staff having naps,
Awake or asnooze
Folks trust the Beeb's nooze
Above the phone-hackers and paps.

(Correcting story link)https://t.co/0jKyCuSFnf

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 16, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bbc, journalism, media, sleep, sun | Leave a comment

Jesus Christ!

Posted on November 16, 2017 by twitmericks

There was an old Renaissance daub,/

A painting of Christ with an orb,/

Da Vinci’s, they say,/

Whose buyer will pay/

A sum that is hard to absorb.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42000696

There was an old Renaissance daub,
A painting of Christ with an orb,
Da Vinci's, they say,
Whose buyer will pay
A sum that is hard to absorb.https://t.co/fKrqTT39nU #Leonardo #LeonardoDaVinci #salvatormundi

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 16, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged art, auction, christies, leonardo, old master | Leave a comment

Susej Role

Posted on November 15, 2017 by twitmericks

A baker got some people riled,/

Exhibiting what they reviled/

As insensitivity,/

For in Greggs’ nativity/

A sausage roll played the Christ Child.///

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/greggs-forced-to-apologise-after-replacing-baby-jesus-with-sausage-roll-in-advent-calendar-a3691566.html

A baker got some people riled,
Exhibiting what they reviled
As insensitivity,
For in Greggs' nativity
A sausage roll played the Christ Child.https://t.co/y0VLCyGiKR #Greggs

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 15, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged christianity, christmas, greggs, jesus, nativity, sausage roll | Leave a comment

Oz Mandate (or Womandate)

Posted on November 15, 2017 by twitmericks

Australia’s now had its say/

From Darwin to Botany Bay/

From Perth to Gold Coast/

A ballot by post/

Backed marriage for pairs who are gay.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-41992344

Australia's now had its say
From Darwin to Botany Bay
From Perth to Gold Coast
A ballot by post
Backed marriage for pairs who are gay.#AustraliaSaidYES #Australia #AustraliaSaysYes #Australiavotesyes #GayMarriage #equalmarriage

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 15, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged australia, equality, gay marriage, gay rights | Leave a comment

Azzurri get the Blues

Posted on November 14, 2017 by twitmericks

Supporters of football in Italy/
Are gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;/
The national side/
Has not qualified,/
With Sweden repelling them gritaly.///

https://www.thelocal.it/20171114/the-saddest-reactions-to-italy-world-cup-flop

Supporters of football in Italy
Are gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;
The national side
Has not qualified,
With Sweden repelling them gritaly.#Italy #italiafuoridaimondiali #WCQ2018 #WorldCup2018

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 14, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged azzurri, football, italy, world cup | Leave a comment

Brexit Strategy

Posted on November 13, 2017 by twitmericks

The bill meant to implement Brexit/
Won’t pass until parliament chexit/
And gives it some scrutiny/
So if Tories mutiny/
It may be the Commons rejexit.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41975277

The bill meant to implement Brexit
Won't pass until parliament chexit
And gives it some scrutiny
So if Tories mutiny
It may be the Commons rejexit.

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 13, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged brexit, david davis, eu, tories, uk | Leave a comment

No Offence but…

Posted on November 12, 2017 by twitmericks

A chap from Korea named Kim/

Called Donald decrepit and dim/

Said Trump in retort:/

“He’s fat and he’s short/

But I’m never rude about him!”///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41958553

A chap from Korea named Kim
Called Donald decrepit and dim
Said #Trump in retort:
"He's fat and he's short
But I'm never rude about him!"

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 12, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged kim jong-un, korea, trump, usa | Leave a comment

Malodorous Malefactor

Posted on November 11, 2017 by twitmericks

A flatulent suspect departed/

Soon after his questioning started,/

For rather than speak/

He’d just lift a cheek -/

To answer each question, he farted.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775

A flatulent suspect departed
Soon after his questioning started,
For rather than speak
He'd just lift a cheek –
To answer each question, he farted.https://t.co/NUAHWT63mR

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 11, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged crime, FART, kansas city, missouri, police | Leave a comment

Holy Mother of God!

Posted on November 10, 2017 by twitmericks

An auditor from Alabama/

Said “quit with the anti-Moore clamour;/

Take old Joseph’s scene/

With Mary the teen -/

They didn’t put him in the slammer!”///

Jesus, Mary and Joseph: Alabama state auditor defends Roy Moore on teen sex encounter allegations

An auditor from Alabama
Said "quit with the anti-Moore clamour;
Take old Joseph's scene
With Mary the teen –
They didn't put him in the slammer!"#RoyMoore #RoyMooreStepDown https://t.co/2892tvLGb0

— Mick Twister (@twitmericks) November 10, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged alabama, bible, gop, republicans, roy moore | Leave a comment

twitmericks

Massive Cock Up

You Snooze, You Win

Jesus Christ!

Susej Role

Oz Mandate (or Womandate)

Azzurri get the Blues

Brexit Strategy

No Offence but…

Malodorous Malefactor

Holy Mother of God!

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