Follow the Leader

Posted on September 29, 2017 by twitmericks

The delegates gave a big cheer/

To UKIP’s fourth head in a year/

But who gives a toss/

As soon the new boss/

Will doubtless be out on his ear.///

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/bolton-wanderers?utm_term=.ogENA9bQ9#.ewKKmXynX

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Hef Off

Posted on September 28, 2017 by twitmericks

A fellow who made lots of money/

Said come and sit next to me honey/

It’s not exploitation,/

I preach liberation/

Now strip off and dress as a bunny.///

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2017/sep/28/hugh-hefner-founder-of-playboy-magazine-dies-aged-91

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Brevity is the Soul of Twit-

Posted on September 27, 2017 by twitmericks

The character limit on Twitter/

Restricts how long users can witter/

Increasing the length/

May not be a strength/

And may see it go down the sh-///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41408798

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The Golden Behind

Posted on September 26, 2017 by twitmericks

 

Police caught a smuggler so bold/

Whose arse hid a kilo of gold/

Asked why such a sum/

Was stuffed up his bum/

He answered that’s all it’ll hold.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41383100

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Angela the Wrangler

Posted on September 25, 2017 by twitmericks

The woman in charge in Berlin/
Secured an electoral win/
But Angela Merkel/
Must widen her circle/
And bring some new bedfellows in.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/24/angela-merkel-faces-stark-choice-between-coalition-or-minority-rule

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Red Rag to a Hashtag

Posted on September 24, 2017 by twitmericks

The audience watched on TV/
The President’s Twitter decree/
To Stand for the Flag/
Become a red rag/
And NFL stars #TakeTheKnee.///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/other-sports/american-sports/nfl-players-kneel-en-masse-11229152

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Keep off the Grass!

Posted on September 24, 2017 by twitmericks

Four stoners out climbing a fell/

Gave Cumbrian coppers a bell/

And said please come by -/

We all got so high/

We can’t seem to walk very well!///

http://www.nwemail.co.uk/news/barrow/Police-and-mountain-rescue-teams-called-to-help-walkers-stuck-on-Scafell-after-taking-cannabis-12bd7a19-9f16-40c1-952c-941ac57da00e-ds

 

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Pissed Off

Posted on September 23, 2017 by twitmericks

A Dutch woman fined by a court/

Who pubicly peed when caught short/

Said men have pissoirs/

So where then are oirs?/

A posture that’s gaining support.///

http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2017/09/amsterdam-pee-in-public-protest-cancelled-too-many-women-want-to-attend/

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Look Back in UNGA

Posted on September 23, 2017 by twitmericks

I’m updating things having been away for a few days – so here are a couple of limericks covering Trump and Kim Jong-Un’s UN speeches.

The POTUS set out where he stands/

On despots from faraway lands/

By using his speech/

To stress US reach/

While waving his minuscule hands.///

+++

The POTUS declared Kim Jong-Un/

A certified rocket man loon,/

So Kim labelled Trump/

A doting old chump,/

For both of them sing the same tune.///

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No go Bojo

Posted on September 17, 2017 by twitmericks

A senior Brit statistician/

Rebuked a UK politician/

Whose lie about Brexit/

Falls down when one checks it/

But furthers his own blond ambition.///

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