Courting Couples

Posted on June 27, 2015 by twitmericks

The US Supreme Court has said/
That equal rights must go ahead./
Ohio to Texas/
Whatever your sex is,/
Or that of your mate, you can wed.///

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Drum and Trumpet

Posted on June 26, 2015 by twitmericks

One night in a blues bar, the drummer/
Let rip with a bit of a hummer/
He opened a window/
To let the foul wind go/
And got the bar fined – what a bummer!///
http://www.newser.com/story/208703/how-a-farting-drummer-cost-a-dc-bar-500.html

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Sperm Bank Welcomes All Comers

Posted on June 25, 2015 by twitmericks

This one is not linked to a current news story, but inspired by a feature programme I heard on the BBC (link below). The combination of story and location proved irresistible.

A big UK sperm bank in Birmingham/
Has many containers with sperminem/
From all over Brum/
The men duly come/
Depositing gametes that squirminem.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05zhhj4

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Secrets and Spies

Posted on June 24, 2015 by twitmericks

Obama is firmly denying/
That agencies might still be spying/
On leaders of France./
There could be a chance/
That somebody somewhere is lying.///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/obama-calls-hollande-nsa-no-longer-spying-french-president

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Napoleon’s Bone Apart

Posted on June 20, 2015 by twitmericks

A medic examining Bonaparte/
It’s said took Napoleon’s bone apart/
Altho it seems wrong/
Removing his dong/
A stiff has no use for a boner part.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/waterloo-200-years-on-and-the-strange-journey-of-napoleons-penis-10333605.html

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Grexit Strategy

Posted on June 19, 2015 by twitmericks

Alexis, a prominent Greek/

Said frankly we’re right up the creek/

We’ve no more to slash/

The bank has no cash/

I need a few bil till next week.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-33195732

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Sweary Mayor

Posted on June 18, 2015 by twitmericks

Old Boris the mop-headed mayor/
Found cabbies provoked him to swear/
Just fuck off and die/
He said to a guy/
And not in that order – so there!///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33178055

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Storm in a Nutella Jar

Posted on June 17, 2015 by twitmericks

Ms Royal’s attack on Nutella/
Annoyed an Italian feller./
Who cares if it’s green,/
Hands off our cuisine!/
Galletti was prompted to tell ‘er.///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/17/nutella-italian-minister-demands-apology-from-segolene-royal?CMP=share_btn_tw

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Rich Pitch

Posted on June 17, 2015 by twitmericks

The toupeed tycoon Donald Trump
Has outlined his pitch on the stump:
I’m a billionaire
From my platinum hair
Right down to my gold-plated rump.
///http://www.wsj.com/video/highlights-from-donald-trump-campaign-announcement/FFA6C054-D049-4BDA-AA5B-A73E63C593F0.html

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Chocs Away!

Posted on June 16, 2015 by twitmericks

Researchers in Aberdeen say/

A small bar of chocolate a day/

Is good for your heart/

And may play a part/

In keeping the doctor away.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33145215

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