Knicker-nicker nicked

Posted on December 23, 2014 by twitmericks

In China a lingerie thief/
Whose bra-burgling beggared belief/
Hid what he was stealing/
And brought down the ceiling/
And that is today’s news in brief.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/prolific-underwear-thief-busted-after-ceiling-drops-from-strain-of-around-2000-bras-and-knickers-9940809.html

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Too Far For Farage

Posted on December 22, 2014 by twitmericks

A UKIP official from Thanet/
Was told by her party to can it/
For saying some stuff/
Jaw-dropping enough/
That even Farage wants to ban it.///
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/party-expels-councillor-for-jaw-29019/

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Bear Facts

Posted on December 19, 2014 by twitmericks

Attempts to remove the bear’s fangs/
Give Vladimir terrible pangs/
But sadly for Putin/
Amid all the shootin’/
He gets fewer bucks for his bangs.///
http://www.vox.com/2014/12/18/7414949/vladimir-putins-insane-sounding-bear-quote-is-essential-for

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Kim Jong Won

Posted on December 18, 2014 by twitmericks

The DPRK’s secret hackers/
Persuaded #TheInterview’s backers/
To pull it from screens/
Which patently means/
A win for the cyberattackers.///
http://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/dec/18/sony-cancellation-the-interview-hack-north-korea-watchers

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Suffragan Suffragist

Posted on December 17, 2014 by twitmericks

The vicar of St Peter’s Hale/
Is blazing a notable trail./
The bishop-to-be/
Of the suffragan see/
Of Stockport is female, not male.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30510137

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Rouble Trouble

Posted on December 16, 2014 by twitmericks

The fall in the price of the rouble/

Saw interest rates almost double/

Severe repercussions/

Will follow for Russians/

So Vladimir Putin’s in trouble.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30492518

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Merry Racistmas

Posted on December 15, 2014 by twitmericks

The Ukippers’ Essexmas present/
To Nigel Farage wasn’t pleasant/
His Basildon hopeful/
Got racist when dopeful/
& joked about shooting a peasant.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/ukip-candidate-jokes-about-shooting-peasants-in-racist-and-homophobic-rant-9923478.html

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A Cell for Mr Biswas

Posted on December 14, 2014 by twitmericks

A tweeter from old Bangalore/
Got mixed up in Syria’s war/
Police detained Biswas/
As one game of his was/
Distributing Jihadist gore.///
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Mehdi-Biswas-ISISs-voice-on-Twitter-wanted-to-be-a-strategist/articleshow/45508617.cms

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Sit-on Protest

Posted on December 12, 2014 by twitmericks

Protesters from various places/
Engaged in erotic embraces/
Expressing their scorn/
For new laws on porn/
By publicly sitting on faces.///
https://news.vice.com/article/protesters-fight-against-harsh-uk-porn-laws-with-a-massive-face-sitting

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Air Traffic Jammed

Posted on December 12, 2014 by twitmericks

As traffic control out of Swanwick/
Is now by and large electranwick/
A technical glitch/
Is more than a hitch -/
The chaos ensuing is chranwick.///
http://news.sky.com/story/1390974/flights-cancelled-after-traffic-control-glitch

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