Back, Sack and Crack

Posted on November 1, 2013 by twitmericks
The Mayor of Toronto fought back/
Denying he ever smoked crack/
But now there’s a vid/
Suggesting he did/
He may soon be facing the sack.///
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News of the Screws

Posted on October 31, 2013 by twitmericks

A newspaper boss with red hair/

Who liked seeing scandals laid bare/

And her deputy ed/

Were sharing a bed/

In a Hacks in Sack Shackup Affair.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24762474

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No Jam Tomorrow?

Posted on October 31, 2013 by twitmericks

The Lib Dem MP Tessa Munt/
Thinks low-sugar jam an affront/
She harbours a grudge/
Against foreign ‘sludge’/
On which she’s surprisingly blunt.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24738171

 

 

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Putting the Pee in PC

Posted on October 30, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a make of PC/

Whose odour evoked feline pee/

Perhaps this foul smell/

On laptops from Dell/

Was made by the forward slash key.///

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/oct/30/dell-laptop-cat-pee-urine-smell-latitude-e6430u

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/395631307595595776

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Baby One More Time? Please God No!

Posted on October 29, 2013 by twitmericks

Somalia’s fierce buccaneers/

Have terribly sensitive ears – /

To drive them away/

Ships’ officers play/

The music of Ms @britneyspears. ///

http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/27/britney-spears-songs-used-to-scare-off-pirates-in-somalia-4163217/

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/395142684173541377

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Hey Jude, Don’t Make it Bad

Posted on October 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a big storm named St Jude/

Whose power could not be subdued/

It upended trees/

And buses with ease/

And left many travel plans screwed.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24699748

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/394872438510465024

And if you like these limericks, don’t forget to buy the book… there’s even some prose thrown in for free!

http://www.anovabooks.com/there-was-an-old-geezer-called-caesar

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Toodle-Lou

Posted on October 27, 2013 by twitmericks
So RIP music man Lou/
Your walk on the wild side is thru/
Your satellite’s gone/
Your Perfect Day done/
But we’re glad we spent it with you.
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Crap Shoot

Posted on October 25, 2013 by twitmericks

A fellow in Norway was shot/

While having a sit on the pot./

A man hunting moose/

Took aim and let loose,/

But twas the poor crapper he got.

///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/24/norwegian-hunter-misses-moose-shoots-man-toilet

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Dirty Buggers

Posted on October 24, 2013 by twitmericks
The NSA tapped Merkel’s cell
So she gave the White House a bell.
Don’t make a big drama
Said Barack Obama 
We all know you’re at it as well!
 
 
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Bishop Bashed

Posted on October 23, 2013 by twitmericks
Franz-Peter, the Bishop of Bling/
Whose bathroom was fit for a king/
Offended the Pope/
And now has to hope/
For pardon, while kissing the ring.
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