A large Indonesian bee/
Biologists found in a tree/
Is causing a buzz,/
Because what it does/
Is show it continues to be.///
A large Indonesian bee/
Biologists found in a tree/
Is causing a buzz,/
Because what it does/
Is show it continues to be.///
Three pro-Remain Tory MPs’re/
Withdrawing support from Theresa,/
Who only has ears/
For arch-Brexiteers;/
Majority-wise, this’ll squeeze ‘er.///
There is an old firm from Japan/
Whose Swindon plant faces the can;/
The exit of Honda/
Leaves Britain to ponder/
The shit that is hitting the fan.///
*The headline comes from the old saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, by way of a marginally less old joke about a flatulent Kawasaki salesman whose absinthe habit causes him inadvertently to promote a competing brand. Move the first word of my headline to the end and change ‘grow’ to ‘go’, and you have the punchline.
A small group of Labour MPs/
Whom Corbyn is causing unease/
Decided to quit,/
Creating a split,/
While Tories said ‘More of this, please!’///
A famous boy wizard named Potter/
Turns out to be rather a rotter,/
Who secretly smuggles/
Narcotics to muggles,/
His books serving well as a blotter.///
A vehicle toured the red planet/
For years with no human to man it/
But now it’s all over/
For NASA’s Mars rover,/
Whose handlers at last had to can it.///
A Brexit supremo named Olly/
Committed a terrible folly,/
Explaining that May/
Must go for delay,/
While drinking in public, the wally.///
Farewell to the great Gordon Banks,/
High up in world goalkeeping ranks,/
Who stood twixt the sticks/
To win ’66/
And earn England football fans’ thanks.///
A Fox TV host who affirms/
The lack of existence of germs/
May now find the friends/
To whom he extends/
No longer on handshaking terms.///
The fellow they call failing Grayling/
Should bow to the wind that’s prevailing/
By walking the plank,/
Since stormy seas sank/
His vision of vessel-free sailing.///