Pecking order reversed

Posted on March 13, 2019 by twitmericks

A fox who thought chickens were weak/

Discovered the harm they can wreak/

For once in their pen/

He found that the hen/

Is made with a very sharp beak.///

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The brex files

Posted on March 12, 2019 by twitmericks

Things are moving pretty fast these days… by the time I came to post this afternoon’s tweet it had been overtaken by tonight’s. Both follow:

The PM went over to France/

And got some new words to enhance/

The deal she’d deliver/

But most will still give her/

A snowball in hell’s kind of chance.

* **

Theresa might feel on reflection/

Another decisive rejection/

In this Commons vote/

Means time to take note/

By calling a general election.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47547887

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Florida gets torrider

Posted on March 10, 2019 by twitmericks

A Florida spa parlour owner/

And recent Republican donor/

Sells clients a hump/

Or access to Trump,/

Whichever will give them a boner.///

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Gin & shit

Posted on March 8, 2019 by twitmericks

Next day when you feel overhung,/

Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/

You’ll sit there and think/

Now why did I drink/

That gin made from elephant dung?///

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Vicious cycle

Posted on March 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A club British Cycling decried/

Says members enjoying a ride/

Were treated with scorn/

As Pedallers of Porn/

Were pulled out and just tossed aside.///

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No more gnomes?

Posted on March 7, 2019 by twitmericks

In gardens of Germany’s homes/

Are commonly found garden gnomes,/

But gnome-makers fear/

They may disappear/

As gnomes have no gnome-chromosomes.///

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Blue line

Posted on March 3, 2019 by twitmericks

A South Wales detective named Clare/

Whose sins a tribunal laid bare/

Used language most lewd,/

Was terribly rude,/

And loudly polluted the air.///

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Ferry poor show

Posted on March 1, 2019 by twitmericks

The minister Christopher Grayling/

Found government isn’t plain sailing;/

He racked up a bill/

Of 33 mil/

Through yet more incompetent failing.///

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Nasal nipper

Posted on February 28, 2019 by twitmericks

A man with a tooth up his nose/

Declared: “This unpleasantness shows/

That teeth belong not/

Up there with the snot/

But down in the mouth, in neat rows”.

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Cock rock

Posted on February 28, 2019 by twitmericks

Graffiti inscribed on a block/

Of Hadrian’s Wall-era rock/

Shows right from the start/

The thrust of such art/

Was representations of cock.///

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