Banks of England

Posted on February 12, 2019 by twitmericks

Farewell to the great Gordon Banks,/

High up in world goalkeeping ranks,/

Who stood twixt the sticks/

To win ’66/

And earn England football fans’ thanks.///

 

 

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Infectious personality

Posted on February 11, 2019 by twitmericks

A Fox TV host who affirms/

The lack of existence of germs/

May now find the friends/

To whom he extends/

No longer on handshaking terms.///

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Grayling all at sea

Posted on February 10, 2019 by twitmericks

The fellow they call failing Grayling/
Should bow to the wind that’s prevailing/
By walking the plank,/
Since stormy seas sank/
His vision of vessel-free sailing.///

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Indecent exposure

Posted on February 9, 2019 by twitmericks

Enquiries by Gavin de Becker/

Embarrassed the orange-faced wrecker/

When threats to expose/

Jeff Bezos’s hose/

Instead exposed Donald Trump’s Pecker.///

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Arcadia ego

Posted on February 9, 2019 by twitmericks

A racist abuser named Green/

Allegedly treated staff mean/

He mocked peoples’ dreadlocks/

And got them in headlocks/

And touched them in ways most obscene.///

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Bottom line

Posted on February 8, 2019 by twitmericks

A Tory MP who got tight/

Down Westminster way Tuesday night/

Grabbed hold of mens’ bums/

But this, say his chums,/

Was only to keep him upright.///

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Lateral drinking

Posted on February 8, 2019 by twitmericks

To challenge our popular thinking,/

Some volunteer boozers got stinking/

And found beer with wine/

Feels queer and not fine/

Whatever the order of drinking.///

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Pulpo fiction

Posted on February 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver whose conduct was odd/

Was nicked by the South Devon plod,/

Who judged he was smashed/

On hearing he crashed/

To miss a large cephalopod.///

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1093472175024164866
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To hell in a hand-Brexit

Posted on February 6, 2019 by twitmericks

Said Tusk, those who sought to propel/

The UK to Brexit, pell-mell/

Without a clear plan/

Must carry the can,/

They’re in a handbasket to hell.///

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The chips are down

Posted on February 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Concerned climate scientists think/

They may have discovered a link/

Between global warming/

And tuber-deforming/

That seems to be making chips shrink.///

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1092743061107552256
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