Tag Archives: weird

You Must Be Toking!

Posted on April 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Some cops lost a big stash of pot/ Then argued that mice ate the lot./ The judge said ‘So why/ Are said mice not high?/ You may be on drugs but I’m not!’/// Some cops lost a big stash of … Continue reading →

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Now She’s in Purple, Now She’s a Turtle*

Posted on April 12, 2018 by twitmericks

A turtle in Queensland,/ Australia Resembles a punk, only scalier,/ With bright green Mohican,/ In streams he or she can/ Draw breath using gilled genitalia./// *The only punk/turtle link that came to mind was this lyric from Christine, by Siouxsie … Continue reading →

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Guano Guest’s Pepperoni Pardon

Posted on April 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A hotel has lifted a ban/ Imposed on a Halifax man/ Whose sausage mishap/ Brought seagulls to crap,/ At which point the shit hit the fan./// A hotel has lifted a banImposed on a Halifax manWhose sausage mishapBrought seagulls to … Continue reading →

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Organ Failure

Posted on February 24, 2018 by twitmericks

A mason was found by the cops,/ Surrounded by miniature props,/ With organ unloosed,/ Outrageously juiced -/ He clearly pulled out all the stops./// This one was a challenge – I admit there are elements of the original story I … Continue reading →

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Custody Creams

Posted on February 20, 2018 by twitmericks

The theft of a double-tier tin/ With various biscuits therein/ Is deemed so improper/ It’s seen a Met copper/ Face charges of indiscipline./// CUSTODY CREAMSThe theft of a double-tier tinWith various biscuits thereinIs deemed so improperIt's seen a Met copperFace … Continue reading →

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Flatulence and Turbulence

Posted on February 19, 2018 by twitmericks

A plane was diverted one night/ When passengers started to fight;/ The turbulence started/ When one of them farted,/ So wind problems grounded the flight./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/fart-attack-plane-makes-emergency-landing-after-passenger-refuses-stop-breaking-wind-flight-1662146 A plane was diverted one nightWhen passengers started to fight;The turbulence startedWhen one of … Continue reading →

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One-armed Bandit

Posted on February 1, 2018 by twitmericks

A pensioner caught on a farm/ Was causing the animals harm;/ His thrill seemed to come/ From some poor cow’s bum/ Up which he was thrusting his arm./// A pensioner caught on a farmWas causing the animals harm;His thrill seemed … Continue reading →

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Pageant Organisers get Hump

Posted on January 24, 2018 by twitmericks

A pageant in Saudi kicked out/ Twelve entrants, for there is no doubt/ A beautiful camel/ Appearing too glam’ll/ Have Botox to thank for its pout./// A pageant in Saudi kicked outTwelve entrants, for there is no doubtA beautiful camelAppearing … Continue reading →

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Battered Sausage

Posted on January 13, 2018 by twitmericks

A butcher got trapped in his store/ With frozen meat products galore;/ He did what he could/ And grabbed a black pud/ Then used it to bash in the door./// A butcher got trapped in his storeWith frozen meat products … Continue reading →

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Mick Twister’s Bigly Brextastic 2017

Posted on December 30, 2017 by twitmericks

I could easily fill this review with Trump and Brexit, but there’s too much other good stuff around, so let me briefly summarise those twin horrors. TRUMP  It was a year when one  man bestrode the world of news like … Continue reading →

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