Monthly Archives: September 2018

Steaming Cleaner

Posted on September 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading →

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Jumbo-sized blunder

Posted on September 20, 2018 by twitmericks

An airline whose spelling’s horrific/ Messed up, or to be more specific/ Contrived to forget a/ Significant letter/ Which means there’s no effin’ Pacific!/// An airline whose spelling's horrificMessed up, or to be more specificContrived to forget aSignificant letterWhich means … Continue reading →

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Sesame-sex relationship?

Posted on September 19, 2018 by twitmericks

The Sesame Workshop contends,/ Wherever the evidence tends,/ Though Saltzman would write ’em/ As kind of an item,/ That Ernie and Bert are just friends./// The Sesame Workshop contends,However the evidence tends,Though Saltzman would write 'emAs kind of an item,That … Continue reading →

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Toad’s tool

Posted on September 18, 2018 by twitmericks

A porn star once dear to Trump’s heart/ Described his most intimate part/ As less than humungous/ And shaped like a fungus,/ Like Toad out of Mario Kart./// A porn star once dear to Trump's heartDescribed his most intimate partAs … Continue reading →

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Vince fails to pull it off

Posted on September 18, 2018 by twitmericks

The speech said ‘erotic’ and ‘spasm’,/ But Vince in his enthusiasm/ Got nervous and slipped,/ And mangling the script,/ Cocked up his linguistic orgasm./// The speech said 'erotic' and 'spasm',But Vince in his enthusiasmGot nervous and slipped,And mangling the script,Cocked … Continue reading →

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Sex on fire

Posted on September 17, 2018 by twitmericks

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading →

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Research my arse!

Posted on September 15, 2018 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Japan/ Who gave his own colon a scan;/ He put on some lube,/ Inserted a tube/ And shouted: ‘The film’s in the can!‘/// There was an old man from JapanWho gave his own colon … Continue reading →

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Fairground Pass

Posted on September 14, 2018 by twitmericks

In theme parks, enjoying a ride/ May help dislodge pebbles inside;/ By rattling your bones/ They send kidney stones/ Direct to the big water slide./// In theme parks, enjoying a rideMay help dislodge pebbles inside;By rattling your bonesThey send kidney … Continue reading →

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Tall Story pt 2

Posted on September 14, 2018 by twitmericks

Two Russian intelligence pipal/ Suspected of poisoning Skripal/ With evil intent/ Insist they just went/ To look at a very tall stipal./// There’s always a balance to be struck between reacting fast, when everyone is focused on the story, and … Continue reading →

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Tall Story

Posted on September 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Two Russian men went to admire/ The world-famous Salisbury spire,/ Whose height is renowned,/ But had to turn round -/ In England the snow can be dire!/// Two Russian men went to admireThe world-famous Salisbury spire,Whose height is renowned,But had … Continue reading →

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