Monthly Archives: June 2019

Ten Tory Hopefuls

Ten Tory hopefuls/ Standing in a line/ Harper had to scarper/ And then there were nine./ *** Nine Tory wannabes/ Dicing with our fate/ Leadsom proved too dreadsome/ And then there were eight./ *** Eight Tories sought to move/ Next … Continue reading

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Digital enhancement

A Brit who got caught in the snow/ Donated his frostbitten toe/ To put in a drink/ Some Yukonners sink/ Containing such tasty morceaux./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1139168899319177216

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Tory stories

Conservative wannabe Rory/ Denounces the false fairy story/ That Brexit’s a breeze/ But this may not please/ The average vote-wielding Tory./// Conservative wannabe RoryDenounces the false fairy storyThat Brexit's a breezeBut this may not pleaseThe average vote-wielding Tory.#RoryStewart #ToryLeadeshipContest #toryleader … Continue reading

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The rich get richer

In making his leadership pitch/ To get doubtful Tories to switch/ Old Boris decided/ With Britain divided/ It’s time to cut tax for the rich./// In making his leadership pitchTo get doubtful Tories to switchOld Boris decidedWith Britain dividedIt's time … Continue reading

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Brickbats in the belfry

An old fellow sent round the bend/ By bell-ringers tried to ascend;/ They cowered inside/ The tower and cried/ Keep going, don’t let the bell end!/// An old fellow sent round the bendBy bell-ringers tried to ascend;They cowered insideThe tower … Continue reading

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Party line

Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,/ When youthful and badly misled,/ It may be the case/ To run in this race/ It helps to be out of your head./// Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,When youthful and badly … Continue reading

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What’s up, CHUK?

A party whose prospects were fucked/ Decided to auto-destruct;/ Six MPs resigned/ And so left behind/ A CHUK even Chuka had chucked./// A party whose prospects were fuckedDecided to auto-destruct;Six MPs resignedAnd so left behindA CHUK even Chuka had chucked.#CHUK … Continue reading

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Shagged out

When teenagers’ sleep isn’t sound,/ A study reportedly found,/ They get a bit frisky/ And do stuff that’s risky,/ Like drink, drugs and screwing around./// When teenagers' sleep isn't sound,A study reportedly found,They get a bit friskyAnd do stuff that's … Continue reading

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Trump bump

A small-handed yellow-haired whiner/ Who came to warn Brits against China/ Was shockingly seen/ To fist-bump the queen,/ Manhandling the royal regina./// A small-handed yellow-haired whiner Who came to warn Brits against ChinaWas shockingly seenTo fist-bump the queen,Manhandling the royal … Continue reading

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