Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Storming Performance

As SuRie got up to perform,/ So multiple sources inform,/ A man in a rage/ Appearing onstage/ Obeyed her instruction to Storm./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/uk-eurovision-entry-surie-breaks-silence-after-stage-invader-storms-stage-and-snatches-mic-a3837606.html As SuRie got up to perform,So multiple sources inform,A man in a rageAppearing onstageObeyed her instruction to … Continue reading

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Leave it Out!

In Britain’s EU referendum/ Campaigners had funds and could spendum/ But now a review/ Shows Leave.EU/ Thinks rules are for Leavers to bendum./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/may/11/leaveeu-fined-70k-breaches-of-electoral-law-eu-referendum In Britain's EU referendumCampaigners had funds and could spendumBut now a reviewShows https://t.co/ECLxzTVuFkThinks rules are for … Continue reading

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Loose Hannan

A Brexit campaigner named Dan/ Admits things aren’t going to plan – / We’re chasing, he feels,/ The worst of all deals;/ The shit is now hitting the fan./// A Brexit campaigner named DanAdmits things aren't going to plan – … Continue reading

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Depleted Capacity

There once was a deal on Iranian/ Restraint in enriching uranium,/ Which President Trump/ Decided to dump,/ Not having a brain in his cranium./// https://www.reuters.com/article/us-iran-nuclear-rouhani/rouhani-says-iran-will-remain-in-nuclear-deal-idUSKBN1I92T7 There once was a deal on IranianRestraint in enriching uranium,Which President TrumpDecided to dump,Not having … Continue reading

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Vlad, Bad and Dangerous to Know

For President Vladimir Putin/ His orders are not for disputin’/ And those who protest/ Face speedy arrest/ By riot cops putting the boot in./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-44024184 For President Vladimir PutinHis orders are not for disputin'And those who protestFace speedy arrestBy riot … Continue reading

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Flower Show

It’s World Naked Gardening Day/ So cast inhibition away/ And get out your hoses/ To water the roses/ Or ready your bush for display./// (A hardy perennial – I sowed the seeds of something similar last year, but I’ve been … Continue reading

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Public Enemy Number Two

A Jersey inspector of schools/ Arrested for flouting the rules/ Was baring his backside/ Each day by the trackside/ And slyly depositing stools./// A Jersey inspector of schoolsArrested for flouting the rulesWas baring his backsideEach day by the tracksideAnd slyly … Continue reading

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What’s Up Doc?

There was an old medical doc/ Who swore Donald Trump was a rock,/ And couldn’t be better,/ But now says his letter/ Was written by Trump – what a shock!/// There was an old medical docWho swore Donald Trump was … Continue reading

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Gas Power Stance

Sajid made a stand from the start/ With legs that were splayed wide apart,/ The power position/ A top politician/ Adopts when he’s bracing to fart./// Sajid made a stand from the startWith legs that were splayed wide apart,The power … Continue reading

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Bum Note

The Sainsbury’s chief was caught singing/ How merger has set the tills ringing,/ But “We’re in the Money”/ May not seem so funny/ If job cuts are what the deal’s bringing./// The Sainsbury's chief was caught singingHow merger has set … Continue reading

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