Category Archives: Uncategorized

Pullout Threatens Sperm

Posted on August 24, 2018 by twitmericks

A hard Brexit impact report/ On stuff we routinely import/ Includes Danish sperm/ Which studies confirm/ Withdrawal may cause to fall short./// A hard Brexit impact reportOn stuff we routinely importIncludes Danish spermWhich studies confirmWithdrawal may cause to fall short.#brexit … Continue reading →

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Red or Dead

Posted on August 23, 2018 by twitmericks

In fundraising Labour’s ahead,/ Securing a whole heap of bread/ From those who are living,/ While most donors giving/ Conservatives money are dead./// RED OR DEAD In fundraising Labour's ahead,Securing a whole heap of breadFrom those who are living,While most … Continue reading →

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Briefs in a Twist

Posted on August 22, 2018 by twitmericks

A man representing as brief/ A future Commander-in-chief/ Broke rules on elections,/ But on whose directions?/ The candidate’s – Hail to the Thief!/// A man representing as brief A future Commander-in-chief Broke rules on elections,But on whose directions?The candidate's – … Continue reading →

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Brexiteer’s Bumpy Landing

Posted on August 21, 2018 by twitmericks

A Tory jumped out of a plane/ And pulled at the toggle in vain -/ Though Brexiteer Steve/ Implored it to leave/ His parachute chose to remain./// Look, he survived, OK? I’m not that callous! A Tory jumped out of … Continue reading →

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Jail Fail

Posted on August 21, 2018 by twitmericks

A privately-run UK jail/ Was deemed a complete epic fail,/ The prison in Birmingham/ It seems is confirming ’em/ Unsuitable assets for sale./// Slightly tweaked the third and fourth lines from the Twitter version to aid clarity. But perhaps the … Continue reading →

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Cheddars of the Lost Ark

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

An ancient Egyptian hard cheese/ Was found in the tomb of Ptahmes,/ But though there’s allure/ To cheese so mature,/ Be warned, it may carry disease./// An ancient Egyptian hard cheeseWas found in the tomb of Ptahmes,But though there's allureTo … Continue reading →

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Spaghetti Injunction*

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

A judge in the Netherlands said/ A colander worn on the head/ To worship spaghetti/ Is silly and petty -/ The Lord’s not in pasta, but bread!/// *headline nicked from the Guardian As I’m sure you’ve all clocked, the last … Continue reading →

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Last Respects

Posted on August 17, 2018 by twitmericks

Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/ A true R&B VIP,/ So let’s give Aretha,/ Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T./// I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being … Continue reading →

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Stream of Complaints

Posted on August 16, 2018 by twitmericks

Some people in Paris are dissing/ Urinals erected for pissing/ For while any beau/ Can geau with the fleau,/ For belles, something similar’s missing./// Some people in Paris are dissingUrinals erected for pissingFor while any beauCan geau with the fleau,For … Continue reading →

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Norwegian Blue Language

Posted on August 15, 2018 by twitmericks

A parrot that’s able to speak/ Three languages opened its beak/ And cursed a fire crew/ In language most blue/ And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek./// A parrot that's able to speakThree languages opened its beakAnd cursed a fire crewIn language … Continue reading →

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